Ever fallen in love
by amightylongstick0006
Summary: Lily has had various relationships, but nothing that ever inspired any feeling in her. There is one person who she feels for more than anyone, but she is entirely convinced its hate. LE/JP - rated for later chapters please R&R.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Based on material all belonging to JKR

On the train and traveling to Hogwarts for their final year.

* * *

Lily was gazing absent-mindedly out of the window, contemplating David Mackintosh. Completely out of the blue the boy had sent her a letter towards the end of summer.

_Dear Lily, _

_ Hope your summers gone ok so far. I know this is a bit weird, seeing as we don't know each other all that well, but to me we seemed to get along rather well towards the end of exams, and so when I got back from France I thought I'd just write and see if you felt like having a bit of a pen-pal thing. Thought we could continue our conversation on conspiracy theories within the ministry! Anyway, hope to hear from you soon, _

_ David x_

She had sent a very prompt reply saying she'd simply love to. But, this morning, much to her surprise he asked if perhaps she'd like to be more than friends. They had only been talking for a couple of weeks, what was he thinking? But then, a little voice in the corner of her mind hadn't been that surprised he'd asked, which confused her. She had told him quite nicely how taken aback, yet pleased she was, and said she'd simply need a little time to think it over. But then, that little voice knew very well what her answer should be, even though she was now thinking she should just agree to it.

"Lily?"

"hmm?"

"What do you think you're going to say to him then?"

Alice was looking at her expectantly. Lily didn't really feel like discussing the matter, but she feigned a grin anyway, putting on a display of eager anticipation, "Don't know yet...what do you think?!"

Alice started grinning as well, "I really don't know, how long were you even talking to him for?? He is so nice but I really didn't see that coming!" Lily giggled,

"I know neither did I!" or had she? "We'd only been talking for a couple of weeks, but he seems keen. What do you think I should do?!"

Alice frowned thoughtfully, "You haven't been out with anyone in a while Lils, maybe you should accept!" She laughed excitedly

"Perhaps I should!" replied Lily, laughing in response. Alice looked away suddenly as the trolley pulled up,

"Oh I'm starving!"

Lily let her fake laughing stop and took the opportunity to return to staring out of the window. Someone's foot tapped her on the shin and she turned, Lauren was looking at her over the top of her magazine, an eyebrow raised pointedly.

"What?" Lily frowned

"You're not interested in him are you?" It was barely a question. Lauren knew very well the answer.

Lily sighed, "Perhaps not...he is nice though."

"I'm sure he is, but I'm also sure that where he took your letters as a response to whatever feelings he has for you, you were simply enjoying a new friendship. You have a problem of seeming really excitable around boys you know, like you laugh a lot, and where you think your being friendly, they see flirty, that's my opinion anyway."

"But I like having boys as friends," Lily moaned, "I know you're not that impressed with them, but they're really a lot of fun most of them. They're adventurous! When I was little I used to play with loads, and they never thought I was flirting then."

"You mean like Severus?" she asked. She didn't sound particularly negative in any way, and her face was fairly normal, but Lily knew the dislike was there.

"Yes Lauren, like Severus."

"We're not talking about him again are we?" Alice said suddenly, sitting herself down with a rather large pile of food, "I thought he wasn't your friend any more."

"He isn't, don't worry we're not talking about him." It was hard for Lily to keep the regret out of her voice. He'd been a very special friend to her when they were young.

"Well good. Lauren stop gawking at the food, I didn't get it all for myself you know! Look, here's pumpkin pasties for you both." Smiling gratefully they all proceeded to eat and soon the topic was changed to ones of a more light hearted nature, the three of them giggling happily. But Lily kept being distracted slightly. She knew, now Lauren had said what she had not wanted to admit to herself, that she must proceed to tell David that she wanted simply to remain friends, and the thought did not appeal to her.

"Lily?"

"Huh?" Lauren and Alice were looking at her. She realised she'd been silent for quite a while, and sighed, "I'm going to say no to David, I just... don't fancy him."

Alice made noises of disappointment, while Lauren nodded sympathetically.

"Well that's a shame," Alice said, and then she looked at Lily closely, "Lily, have you ever fancied anyone? I mean, you've gone out with one or two but it was never serious or anything you know?."

Lily shrugged, "um... dunno." She'd been attracted to one or two sure, but actually liking them? She liked them as friends, as enemies even, but she'd never actually fallen for one. She wondered if she was OK with that...

* * *

Sitting in the great hall the following morning, Lauren was busy filling both Alice and Lily in on some rather interesting gossip when David walked by. He was a good looking enough guy Lily supposed, he had golden sort of hair and rather blue eyes, but sadly it had not been enough to tempt her. There was an akward silence as he passed, smiling at Lily yet looking at the ground whilst he did.

"I take it you gave your reply then," Lauren said quietly, and Lily nodded.

"How did he take it?" whispered Alice. Lily shrugged,

"He seemed a bit taken aback to be honest. Said 'oh' and I said 'really sorry' and all that. He just stood there shrugging a lot."

"LILY!"

Lily whipped her head round and a huge grin appeared instantaneously on her face.

"Remus! It's so good to see you!" Getting up from the bench the two of them hugged warmly.

"How did your summer go?" she demanded, whilst briefly examining his face. It was an never-ending worry to her, but he always seemed to look just a little bit more strained, or a bit more tired, every time she saw him, and she'd never been able to work out why.

"Fabulous," he said laughing, "Yours? It must have been fairly interesting, I heard you got asked out just yesterday!"

"How on earth do you know already?! And well, yes I did, but I turned him down,"

He looked at her with mock sympathy written all over his face,

"Oh Lily...Waiting for James no doubt!! Quite understandable! The two of you would be a match made - ""

"Never." She interrupted quickly, making Remus smile. She wondered vaguely why James hadn't spoken to her already this year, he usually had some arrogant routine prepared to ask her out again for the millionth time, almost as soon as the Hogwarts express pulled out of the platform.

"Tell me all about your summer then!" she urged Remus, "I want details!" He rolled his eyes, but smiled and started to relate his summer to her. She listened but found her mind wandering. Where was Potter? He always made such a racket whenever he arrived each year... up to mischief with his pal Sirius. _Up to no good_, she thought darkly. She let her eyes quickly search the rest of the table. There was Peter Pettigrew, (she felt sorry for him, blatantly pulled into schemes in which he wanted no part), Sirius Black, leaning on the bench more arrogantly than ever...but where was Potter? _Probably right behind me_, she thought wryly, _ready to tell me again why he is so good, and why I should absolutely be with him_. She really hated him. True, last year his bullying had definitely slowed, but that was hardly cause to think he was any more special than any other boy in here. Suddenly Remus stopped talking and stared at her chest. She blinked...no, Remus had never been that kind of boy! And then he looked up, trying hard to hold a very large grin in. She frowned,

"What?"

"Why Lily, head girl are we?"

She looked at him suspiciously, "I am...and...?"

Remus looked near to bursting from the hilarity.

"Remus, for goodness sake, what!?"

"Have you seen who's head boy yet?"

Her eyes narrowed, "No...They said I'd have to find out later in the week because he wouldn't be arriving till then..."

Finally, Remus, giggling histerically pointed towards his friends, "Who is missing?"

She didn't even need to look. The horror, the absolute horror of her situation dawned on her. Her mouth fell open, but no words came out, she simply gaped in disbelief.

"Lily, what's the matter?" Lauren asked curiously, both she and Alice kept glancing at Remus, who was still giggling. And it was he who told them, quite happily, about the new head-boy that year. Their mouths fell open too which made Remus laugh even harder.

"Excuse me," he said wiping a tear of joy from his eye, "I must return to my friends!" He dashed away, and sure enough shouts of glee soon could be heard from his table. Lily sat down miserably, James Potter, that arrogant toerag, was none other than Head-boy.

The next few days were filled with dread. Every time she did one of her duties, every time she was referred to as 'head-girl', every time Remus or any of Potter's friends walked past her she was reminded of her fate – having to share a whole year with ...Him. The idea made her feel sick. One part that particularly nagged at her was the large and wonderful bathroom at the top of Gryffindor tower, reserved only for head boy and head girl- she would have to share that with him!! Impossible!! It could not happen! Who had even made that cretin head boy? He was hardly worthy of the position. And he certainly would never fulfil any of his duties properly. He would use his position to bully and manipulate wherever possible, bending the rules for him and his friends. If anything she though probably Remus would have been Head Boy, he had been Prefect after all, and he was by far the more responsible of the two...not to mention the nicer, and less big-headed. It nagged at her the rest of the week, she barely listened in classes to the new very complicated ideas being introduced, or Alice and Lauren as they poured out the gossip from everyone's summers. All she could think about was the unfairness of having to be around Potter for basically, the rest of the year. She hated him. And hated him even more for not just turning up and getting it over with. Where was he?


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh, so this is where you've been all day!"

Lily grumbled; Alice's rather high voice was no way to be woken up in the morning.

Rolling over Lily glanced sleepily at her alarm clock and upon seeing it was almost 2 in the afternoon, sat up in confusion.

"Tired?" asked an amused Lauren. They both shared a grin, whilst Alice sat down and set about gently rearranging Lily's hair, always rather haphazard in the mornings.

"I..I must have been more sleepy than I thought..."

"Lily, you've been doing work for two the entire week," Alice said reasonably, "you're bound to be a little groggy."

Lily moaned and flung herself back on the pillows, folding her arms over her eyes.

"That Potter better have a satisfactory reason for not being here!" When no-one responded in a little while, she peeked from under her arms; her two friends were looking suddenly awkward, exchanging glances and shifting uncomfortably.

"What is it?" Lily sat up, willing her friends to look her in the eye, "Come on, what is it?"

Lauren sighed, "I was hoping you'd maybe seen a paper or something already. Here, read this..." She rummaged in her bag and slowly tugged out the Daily Prophet, handing it to Lily. Lily pulled her knees towards her, and rested the paper upon them, taking in as she did so the headline. It certainly got to the point.

MASS MURDER

_No less than 247 witches and wizards have been discovered dead over the past week, and there can be no doubting their connection with the ever growing threat of you-know-who. Last night it reached a climax as in one quick blow, the so-called 'Death Eaters' killed no less than 60 innocents, all of whom were simply attending a town meeting within Hampshire, looking to establish rules of security amongst them. Experts are currently having trouble identifying the victims so far however, as it seems the Death Eaters opted for more crude methods in their killing, as opposed to their regular use of the Third Unforgivable Curse._

_It was then uncovered yesterday, as the ever rising Death Tolls were addressed, that the majority of deaths over the past few weeks had been predominantly that of Aurors, particularly those involved in the capturing and imprisoning of you-know-who followers. The exact figure is unsure, but one ministry spokesman wished to assure the public that although losses have been great among the Aurors, it comes with the occupation, and none had died in vain. (The names of those known to have been killed within the last three weeks, are listed on page 3.) _

_Article cont. pg2._

Lily looked up, "You-know-who?"

Alice, looking strangely serious, nodded and answered her, "His name is believed to be a jinx of some sort, like saying it might make you a target," her face twisted; she looked disgusted, so strange on Alice's gentle face, "they're terrified, but being terrified of the name as well is not going to help matters. I thought maybe... maybe Voldemort was actually behind it... if believing even the name has an effect, imagine how panicked everyone will be now..." she laughed bitterly, "as if they aren't already panicked enough. My father didn't want me to even be at school this year. But, everyone keeps saying, it's the only safe place left. My mother practically threw me here."

Lily's eyes fell to the newspaper again; she understood the emotion Alice was feeling she thought; the prospect of war was a worry it was true, but more than anything it angered her...she was muggleborn after all.

"Lils?" Lauren said suddenly, pulling Lily away from her thoughts, "Page 3."

She head looked up and stared at Lauren, _'the names of those known to have been killed...'_, and then she quickly turned the page, scanning the list as quickly and as thoroughly as possible until she stopped dead.

_Mr Charles Potter and his wife, Julia, both among the greatest Aurors in the field of defence and control, died approximately 2 weeks ago, (exact date unknown), their bodies were found by their only son, James, when he returned from a week camping trip with friends. They had been in their kitchen, the dark mark had been burned onto the kitchen door. They will be sorely missed by all who knew them._

Lily stared at the page for a very long time until she looked up at her friends, secretly hoping for, she realised, someone to contradict it. Lauren only let out a long breath, and nodded silently. Alice was staring rather miserably at the floor. What on earth was Lily meant to make of this? She hated James certainly, but she'd never, in a million years, ever wished this fate upon him. Both his parents murdered. By no less than death eaters she supposed. How was she meant to act towards him? She could hardly go on being as snappy as possible whenever he spoke to her... or could she? Maybe pretend it hadn't happened... No, ridiculous. She could...be nice perhaps?

For some reason, Lily concentrated on how to act towards him for a long time, until suddenly other thoughts started to push their way to the surface,_ where was he? Was he OK? Did he have someone left to look after him_? The questions started building up in her mind to near breaking point, and she decided she had to know. Without further ado she threw the newspaper aside, and jumped out of bed heading directly to her wardrobe.

"Lily?" "

Where you going?"

"Sorry, but would you two go? I'm going to get dressed. I think I'll go find Remus, ask him how James is doing," for some reason, Lily could feel her cheeks going slightly pink when she said that, quickly she added "I'll need to know that I won't be left to doing those duties all year!" She realised it sounded a bit heartless, but it was better than nothing. She frowned inwardly... why had it been better?

"um...OK. We'll see you later then," Lauren frowned. Lily barely noticed, tugging clothes of hangers rather violently.

"Tell us what Remus says wont you?" Alice added as they left. Absent mindedly Lily said that she would and without even bothering to brush hair or teeth, slipped some clothes on and went looking, rather urgently, for Remus.

* * *

As Lauren stepped out of Lily's room, Alice closing the door behind her, they began to walk down the stairs, both frowning.

"That was quick..."

Alice nodded, looking just as confused, "And what was it she said...she'd be left doing all the duties?! Not exactly the aspect of it I was concentrating on..."

Lauren nodded fervently, "I have no love for Potter certainly, but if it were me I'd probably even be prepared to take over all his duties for at least a few weeks more if he needed it."

"Definitely!" Suddenly Alice turned to Lauren looking thoughtful, "Did you notice, she blushed when she was talking about Remus." Lauren smiled at Alice, she always did notice things like that. Alice grinned back, "But," she said dramatically, "did you also notice that she referred to Potter as James? Weird don't you think?" Lauren grinned as well. For someone so cheery and chatty it always struck Lauren as odd that Alice should be so observant some times, even about someone like Lily who could be decidedly mysterious. And, more often than not, she was always managed to see the right things...

* * *

Remus looked sympathetically at Lily, "he wanted us to keep it quiet, said he didn't want everyone knowing and looking at him funny."

"I still say you could've told me, I'm going to share a bathroom with him! I can't not know that sort of thing." Remus laughed slightly, and shook his head,

"My apologies Miss Evans." They were quiet a time, until Lily asked, quite softly, "How is he?"

Remus took a deep breath, and smiled wryly, "The same I guess you could say. Still as much of 'prick' as you often call him as he ever was. He's...managing better than I expected he would actually. He would've come back straight away, but it was their funeral the day before, and Dumbledore insisted he needed the week."

Lily nodded, looking at the floor frowning. James' face kept appearing before her eyes; she couldn't imagine him upset. He bounded around the place, constantly pleased with himself, constantly pleased with the easy life he had been given, constantly pleased upon seeing her...

"I wouldn't worry about him you know, he really is surprisingly resilient." Lily looked up, taken aback. Remus had been watching her it seemed. She frowned, "I'm hardly worried about Potter, Remus. The boy can obviously take care of himself." Remus shrugged and let the matter drop. Lily spent the remainder of the day, fidgeting anxiously, and when night fell she found herself unable to fall asleep for the longest time. She concluded quite firmly that she should avoid sleeping in till 2 from then on.


	3. Chapter 3

Sitting mid-morning in the middle of a defence against the dark arts lesson, Lily tapped her foot softly on the floor beneath her, gazing out of another window. She seemed to be doing it a lot this year; why was beyond her. Suddenly she gave a start, and realised Professor Gladwin was speaking to her.

"Well, Miss Evans?" she felt herself going a little red; she had no idea what he had just asked. Suddenly a voice spoke from the other side of the room,

"It's a poison, only effective at certain times in a human's life." She looked around, and unsurprisingly, it had been Severus who had come to her rescue. He did it every now and then. Didn't acknowledge her in any way, but helped her through little things like that. It always made her slightly sad. But, he had chosen his friends...

"Exactly, take 10 points Master Snape" continued the professor, "and I suppose my next question -" A knock on the door interrupted him.

"Come in?" The door opened and the noise that followed was incredible, especially when you considered it was only the Gryffindors making it. James Potter, quite suddenly, stepped over the threshold. He was strutting into the classroom to the sound of roaring approval from friends, some of which embraced him like a long lost brother, simpering, giggling girls started to ask quite anxiously whether he was OK and if he needed to talk to any of them, and even the rather composed Professor Gladwin shook his hand rather excitedly. "I've heard so many great things of your talent within defence Mr. Potter!". Lily scowled. James however, took it all in his stride, calmly telling girls he'd be happy to talk with them sometime, shaking hands and grinning with everyone in the class, and even managing a modest, "Someone has been exaggerating Professor, really I'm no better than most." Lily rolled her eyes. As he took a seat near Sirius, she watched him out of the corner of her eye. Remus had been right; he looked as though he had come back from holiday. Sitting at ease he ran his hands through his hair in the usual manner, laughed a genuine laugh, and talked smoothly.

"Alright, alright... settle down now class. I'm sure we're all very happy James is back with us," Sirius made a rather rude comment, to which James responded with a playful punch, grinning. They really were fools. "And now if we could return to our lesson. If we could have wands out and books away, please. Oh, and move these chairs and tables out the way if you will." Immediately, people exchanged looks of excitement, grinning as they promptly set about clearing a space. As Lily began to help by stacking chairs with Lauren she heard a voice behind her and jumped,

"So you're head girl?" Lily turned to face Severus, his face was blank, but his dark eyes seemed bright as they fixed on hers. Gulping slightly, Lily nodded, "I am."

For a moment Severus said nothing and just looked at her. Then, very quietly, "I...I thought you might be. You're perfect actually...for the post I mean. Well...well done..."

Lily smiled slightly, he had always had that nervous way of speaking, "Thanks...Sev." He was quiet a while longer, an odd look in his eye "Just...wanted to say that to you."

As he turned away she caught the briefest flash of pain across his face, and grabbed his arm "Sev, are you all right?" For a moment Severus stared at her, that odd look still there. And then he snatched his arm away and, quite coldly, said "I'm fine. Would you mind not grabbing my arm in public like a complete fool?" He stalked away without another word. Lily watched him walk away in silence, until she realised someone was watching her. Turning her head she looked just in time to see James, quite casually, look the other way, apparently already in conversation with Sirius. How long had he been watching?

"Lily? You OK?"

She gave a start; Lauren was looking at her anxiously, sparing the odd glance to glare angrily at Severus' retreating back. Lily smiled and shrugged. Lauren for once did not lecture her on the evils of Severus Snape, but patted her arm sympathetically.

Professor Gladwin called for their attention and he turned to face the class who now stood ready in a circle.

"Now, as you all now, the stories in the newspapers of late have been far from pleasing..." a few faces glanced quickly at James, who stood quite easily, waiting patiently as the teacher spoke, "well Dumbledore insists part of my methods this year be heavily practical as well a theoretical. So, every single spell, curse, charm and shield you read about, will then be practised. Now, Dumbledore wanted your opinion on this, because this means you will be learning a vast amount of extra spells and curses, that would otherwise be only glanced at, on top of a series of the most difficult enchantments that must be learnt in order to pass your exam. I wish to know now, who would have a problem with this?"

It seemed the newspapers had had quite an effect on its readers. No-one even looked remotely unsure.

"Well, I shall simply demonstrate a rather simple series of spells today then..."

The remainder of class was most satisfying. It seemed she had rather a knack for picking up the spells quickly, especially spells of protection. She did notice however, that James managed to pick them up that much faster, and she couldn't say why, (she had never been a jealous person) but it irked her.

* * *

The following morning Lily sat in the library around lunchtime, thinking she'd start her essay for potions and get it out of the way, Professor Slughorn liked her a lot and she hated to disappoint him . Plus, she would have head girl duties to deal with later in the day, although thankfully there were never as many as in the first week, and now that James was here, there were even less for her to do. So far, she still hadn't spoken to him, despite their shared status. She had heard the shower running in the bathroom this morning, but quite obviously, had not continued on her way in. Quite abruptly madame pince shrieked across the library,

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Lily looked up in alarm, and saw Lauren practically flying towards her, who then shouted over her shoulder a rather brief apology before stopping, breathless, before Lily.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Lily whispered, looking warily at a seething madame pince.

"L-lily!" she breathed, "the most awful thing...!" suddenly, tears began welling up in Lauren's eyes. Lauren never cried...

Lily stood up, grabbing her friend's arm urgently, "What happened?"

Her voice shaking, Lauren looked up at Lily miserably, "Alice's father has been killed."

Lily couldn't remember sitting down, but suddenly she was on her chair, the shock washing over her. Impossible... they had spent a week at Alice's, eating meals and such with her father, just that summer...

Lauren had sat down next to her as well, staring almost hopelessly at the wall.

"Is...where is she?"

Lauren sighed, wiping her nose with a sniff "Her mother reckons its too dangerous for her to come home, and she insists she stays here. She's in Dumbledore's office I think... I don't think she feels much like talking though."

Lily shook her head in disbelief. Another murder.

* * *

Three weeks past in which a disturbingly quiet Alice kept their company. They did as much as possible in an attempt to make her feel better. Slowly, towards the end of their first month at school, she began to smile a little, but Lily had a feeling it would be a very long time before she went back to normal...if she ever did...

Walking back up to the tower late one night she groaned at the pain in her neck. Annoyed, she could feel that a muscle had been pulled, and cursed being head girl. She had been simply been carrying out her usual duties, doing her rounds but that stupid poltergeist had left a rather large pile of slippy, yet invisible gunge in her path. Falling flat on her back had produced this, oh so marvellous, effect.

As she approached the final corridor to the portrait she began to hear voices from around the corner and was taken aback to find Alice and James in the midst of very deep conversation, judging by how serious and considering their faces were. She stopped in her tracks, unsure how to interrupt. It seemed to her they could only really share one topic: dead parents. Almost instantly though, James had seen her, and informed Alice who turned around and smiled at her. Lily slowly approached.

"I'll speak to you some other time then, yeah?" James was asking. She beamed at him, "of course! It was... really nice speaking to you, James." She blushed slightly, and he smiled warmly and with a brief wave for Lily, darted into the portrait hole. Alice gestured and they followed him in, watching as he crossed the room to the boys dorms. Alice sighed and fell into a chair, Lily, watching her suspiciously, perched on the end of another.

"What...was that about?" Alice looked at her and sighed again,

"Lily, I've just been talking to him for like an hour, and, to be brutally honest..." she hesitated slightly, "I think we misjudged him... by a long way -"

"No," Lily interrupted firmly, "we didn't. I mean, there's no denying he has got...maybe a little... better in the last two years, but before that he was unbearable! You know he was. We were perfectly right in judging him."

Alice looked uncomfortable, "Perhaps...but I think we should at least stop calling him names and stuff. He doesn't deserve it at all. And oh, he was being so nice just now! If you could've heard him you would have been shocked, he's so understanding."

Lily only looked at Alice, but her face must have been saying something else because Alice looked slightly worried and said quickly, "Please don't...disapprove or anything... it's just I think I want to be friends with him, you know?"

Lily consciously made an effort and warmed her face, even smiling a little, "Alice, I can hardly say who you can or cannot be friends with. And I'm certainly not disappointed," Lily laughed, "I'm just a little shocked, who would have thought he'd be your extra shoulder to lean on!" Alice grinned,

"I know! But he really is so nice Lily. And really funny too!" she shook her head in wonder, "You know, its weird, but I actually think for all that you didn't like him you'd probably get on with him really well, and you always like having boys as friends don't you,"

Lily nodded smiling, "That is true."

Suddenly, Alice grinned rather mischievously, "Lily," she said in a very quiet voice, "Please don't roll your eyes or anything! But it think... I think I might actually like him!" she giggled excitedly, "I mean, we have so much in common you know?" Lily kept her grin on her face, nodding,

"Sounds like you two had a one interesting conversation!"

Alice laughed, "I think we did!" She sighed once more, "But I'm going to have to go to bed I'm afraid, Lily, I'm so tired! Good thing you stopped us talking then, who knows how long we might've spoken for!"

Lily stood up, still grinning, and hugged her friend goodnight. Just as Alice was walking to the dorms she turned around suddenly, smiling even wider, "Lily, you really should be friends with him you know. He's stopped pestering you all year long! In fact I think he's been rather polite. I thought he'd be awful this year, but he's barely said a word to you, do you think you might?"

Lily laughed a little, "We'll see, it has been 6 years of abuse you know..." Alice laughed and finally walked up to stairs to bed.

After the door had closed, Lily sat down quietly, and the grin that had been glued to her face, slid off. She felt...rather lonely.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

She hadn't meant it to happen...it simply had...and she couldn't go back now. Lauren was sitting on the edge of her bath, her chin on her hand, looking distinctly unimpressed. Alice was looking moodily out of the window, refusing to even glance at Lily.

Lily was trying to avoid looking at either of them while drying her hair perhaps a bit too vigorously with her towel. She'd had to shower to get the smell of the lake off her.

"I thought you agreed with me, 'he does seem a lot nicer' you said." Alice still wasn't looking at her.

Lily put the towel down and picked up a brush slowly, awkwardly thinking how to answer,

"I have...I have been trying Alice, I -"

"No you haven't!" Alice was looking at her now, angrily at that, "When we've sat with them on a morning or at lunchtime you're practically silent! You don't even both talking to him to -"

"He doesn't talk to me either, Alice!" she said, frustratedly rounding on her friend.

"Well, to be honest, I wouldn't talk to you either. You're so haughty and dissaproving of every little word he says! It's a wonder he manages even to ignore it!"

Lily shook her head, going back to combing, (or indeed attacking) her hair.

"He jumped in the lake after you Lils," Lauren said quietly behind her, "I think at least an apology-"

Lily then rounded on her, suddenly livid, "Look, I didn't ask him to and the fact of the matter is I can swim, so I really don't think I have to say anything to him!"

"So you're not going to attempt to like him then, Lily?" Alice asked pointedly, "Not even for me?" When Lily didn't reply, she shook her head, looking disgusted, "You're being a child! I like him! OK? I do, and you're supposed to be my friend. He's not done anything to upset you...unless you count saving your life as some major transgression. But Lily, for goodness sake, you at least owe _me_ an apology! After you had a go at him for about half an hour, I went over and asked if he was OK. He just glared at me and stormed off...like it was my fault! Go ahead and hate him all you want, but don't you dare drive him away from me in the process!" Alice stood there a little while, breathing heavily and staring at Lily. When Lily just continued to brush her hair, she left, slamming the door behind her.

Lauren got up. "Lily?" Lily didn't answer her either, and Lauren sighed.

"I'll, see you around..."

The door closed and Lily threw her brush furiously at wall. What the hell was wrong with her?

* * *

_They had all been out on the boats, floating upon the lake. Professor Slughorn had taken supplies being low as an opportunity to show them which particular sea creature venoms they used and why. After a rather amusing day of fishing on the lake, Lily was distracted when she saw Alice giggling at something James had said. He brushed some hair out of her face...gently...softly... Abruptly, the boat erupted in screams and yells as something gave it one massive jolt. Lily gripped onto the side of it hard, but it wasn't enough. Whatever it was, she realised all too quickly, it was attached to the end of her fishing rod. When the creature tugged with all its might, Lily had no time to let go. She went plunging into the icy cold waters of the lake. Panicking, she tried to cut loose as she was pulled horrifyingly deeper into the dark waters of the middle of the lake, but the string had been wrapped around her hand. She fumbled desperately, light getting dimmer, her breath no longer lasting her, her conciousness leaving her. Her efforts began to slacken as the weight of the lake began pressing in upon her. But miraculously, the cord sprang loose, two arms enclosed tightly around her waist and quickly, if slightly awkwardly, she began moving upwards. Finally, her head was above water, and she coughed and spluttered, shivering from the cold. She felt herself being dragged on to the boat, and someone tumbled in after her. Lauren ran to her, making her sit up and putting her school cloak around her. Lily shivered a thanks, (not only was she _

_freezing but her shirt was most definitely see-through). She looked at her rescuer and nearly stopped breathing again. Potter was there, dripping from head to toe on all fours, trying to catch his breath. Sirius was laughing at him, clapping him on the back, Alice was beaming at him, and trying to put her cloak around him. _

_He looked up slightly and for a moment hazel eyes held green, both faces unreadable. And Lily frowned, "What on earth were you doing!! -"_

Lily cringed to remember it. Everyone had been staring at her. David Mackintosh hadn't even been able to look at her. James had just saved her, what was she on about? She had shouted at him for 5 solid minutes, and then, taking her quite by surprise, he had started to shout back, his eyes glinting viciously. They incoherently argued themselves hoarse for Lily didn't know how long, or even about what. Professor Slughorn had broken it up in the end, insisting his two favourite students had no cause to fight whatsoever, they were both too brilliant. The journey back to the shore had been silent and bitter.

One of the worst aspects was that once again, her neck was aching badly. But she didn't believe she deserved Madame Pompfrey's attention; she considered it some form of a punishment for being so ridiculous. Lily sat by the fire in the common room, hidden in one of the biggest armchairs, waiting as the room slowly emptied. It was late Thursday night; it had happened over 3 days ago, but it still made her cringe, and no-one had forgotten it yet. She had to admit, she wasn't used to it. Everyone, from as far back as she could remember, generally seemed to like her. She knew she wasn't mean or boastful or proud. She always smiled in all the right places, could make people smile as well. She was clever, clever enough to know that all those sorts of things made for a likeable character, so why had she gone against everything she knew? Everything she knew she was supposed to be. Potter always seemed to bring out the worst in her...

As though her thoughts had beckoned him, he came through the portrait hole then, and although looking vaguely tired from his duties, he was as pleased as he always seemed to be. Bloody Potter... He looked around the common room. Virtually empty by now, even Sirius had gone to bed. Oddly, on seeing it was empty, his appearance changed slightly; the energy of his stance seemed to falter, he looked just that bit more tired, and his mouth turned in such a way that all cheerfulness was removed from his face. He looked...grim. He walked purposefully over to a chair, not far from Lily's, and took out a large envelope from beneath his robes. He had not seen her yet.

Curious, she turned her body slightly to get a better view. He hunched over a small table in front of him and pulled out what appeared to be several sheets of parchment, almost all with photo's attached. After reading a small slip of parchment on top, he then proceeded to examine each page with intense concentration. After a while he even got out a quill and started making notes on some. She noticed, while sitting their quite silently, that every so often expressions would form on James' face she would never have imagined being there, at one point he had looked disgusted, at another bitter, at one...she was sure it was simply pain. He ran his hands through his hair, but in frustration as opposed to any vain reason. She sat hypnotised, enthralled by this change in him. She longed to discover what he was examining so obsessively, but being so unknown to him this year, (apart from when she had shouted at him), she could hardly ask.

* * *

James finally put his quill down, and sighed when he saw it was almost 5 in the morning. Feeling he had at least gotten one step further, however futile his efforts felt, he stood up, putting everything back in the envelope. As he made to walk up the stairs he almost fell flat on his face with shock. He straightened and quickly walked around to the front of the chair to check he had it right. For reasons well beyond his knowledge, none other than Lily Evans was curled up fast asleep, breathing deeply. He hadn't even realised she had been sat there. But falling asleep in the common room was hardly a regular occurrence. In comparison to when she had argued with him earlier that week, (another notion of hers he could not understand) she looked rather peaceful. For a moment...just a moment... he watched her, his mind far away from the envelope in his hand.

* * *

It was finally Halloween, the days seemed to be dragging by, and she had a feeling they weren't going to get much faster.

"I'm going to apologise," she murmured. Lauren looked up, she didn't smile but it was obvious; she was pleased.

"You are? What changed your mind?"

"Just...well, its...Lauren you know what everyone's been saying and lets face it they are right. My behaviour made absolutely no sense. It's silly not to really."

Lauren nodded and returned to her essay. They had a free period and were in the library trying to do an essay for Professor Flitwick. Usually Lily had no problem with these, she was very good at charms, but having dozed off in a chair last night only to wake up at around 6 in the morning exhausted and with an awful pain in her neck, she could not concentrate. And, her mind kept considering the envelope. What had that -

"Hey Lauren." Alice's joining them interrupted her thoughts. She deliberately did not look at Lily. She hadn't been speaking to her this past week. Hurriedly Lauren said,

"Alice, Lils is going to apologise to him."

Alice looked at Lauren for a long moment then smiled at Lily hopefully.

"You are?"

Lily gave a resigned shrug, and Alice beamed.

"Oh, that's so good! Remus said James was so annoyed that day, but it'll be so good now! And, once you have, will you come join us later on? We're going to all meet up and mess about and stuff."

"um...I guess so...I'll apologise then shall I?"

Alice nodded enthusiastically. Lauren smiled at her, the sympathy, (no, pity), was clear on her face.

Lily decided then that she was too tired. Perhaps not the best Head Girl behaviour but Lauren lied to her teachers saying Lily wasn't feeling well, whilst Lily curled up in bed for a long nap.

"Lily? Wake up! It's nearly time for dinner!" Lily grabbed the pillow and put it over her head. Why must it always be Alice's ridiculously high voice?!

"Why are you so tired today?" Lauren asked curiously. Lily just moaned and moving the pillow aside, forced herself to get up. She supposed she wasn't feeling too tired any more.

"Meet us downstairs, we'll be sitting with James and everybody! We'll save you a seat OK?" Lily nodded, it seemed Alice had immediately become her friend again, much to her relief. The girl could be surprisingly stubborn...

Having a quick shower, she got dressed. It took longer than usual though, she got a bit picky about what she might wear. In the end a pair of rather tight jeans accompanied with an even tighter top seemed just as good as anything. It caught her curves in all the right places. She wasn't really bothered about that sort of thing though. Scrutinising herself in the mirror she decided a little mascara wouldn't hurt either...or perhaps a bit of blush. She gave her hair one quick brush over. Well, perhaps not so quick, but it looked rather glossy when she'd finished. Nodding in satisfaction she walked out of her room. She put a drop or two of perfume on before she left as well...she hadn't worn much of it yet.

The Great Hall had mostly people moving into it, it was indeed dinner time, and so her eyes searched the length of the Gryffindor table until she found James. And Alice and Lauren, and Remus was there too, unfortunately so were Sirius, and Peter, and, of course, James. They greeted her with smiles, although from Sirius it was more a smirk, and Peter seemed shy. James didn't quite meet her eye. She sat, determinedly, opposite him. Alice, sitting next to him, gave her an encouraging smile.

"Erm, James?"

Surprised, he looked up, staring at her with his hazel eyes. She had never even vaguely addressed him in her life, and when forced to talk to him, it had been 'Potter' in the most disgusted tones possible.

"I..."she swallowed, his friends had gone silent, looking curiously at her. She rushed, perhaps too quickly, into an apology "I wanted to say sorry, for shouting at you, it wasn't you, I was in a mood. And thank you for jumping in the lake after me." There was silence as he continued to stare at her. Then Sirius grinned at her, "Miss Evans!" he said looking impressed, "How very nice of you...James aren't you going to reply to this lovely lady?"

James stared at her a little longer, until Sirius nudged him. Glancing at Sirius who nodded in encouragement, he looked at her once more and said, "It's fine, you...you don't need to apologise." Oddly, he sounded as though he meant it. Alice giggled, "Well now that's sorted! Anybody for roast lamb?" James blinked; he seemed surprised to find Alice sitting there.


	5. Chapter 5

"What the hell's going on?"

Shoving and pressing in against Lily was the entire student body. They were waiting impatiently to be let in to the Great Hall for the Christmas Feast that was held before people went home. But, the doors were shut tight, and no-one as of yet knew why, all they knew was the deliciously charming aromas that kept wafting up from the kitchens.

Lauren, stopping to snap angrily at a first year who had stepped on her toe gave a helpless, "I've no idea!" And they continued trying to keep their place in the crowds that were trying to pile towards the doors. Someone raised up the chant, "let us in!" and it even caught on. The masses were hungry.

Suddenly a voice behind them said quite calmly,

"Ladies? If we may escort you to the front perhaps?" Lily and Lauren turned and there was Sirius, accompanied by the rest, (including Alice), holding out his hands. Without the slightest hesitation they each took a hand gratefully and he walked forward, skilfully worming, (sometimes intimidating) his way through the crowds. They parted with surprising ease...especially females who, Lily noticed, had a habit of gazing after Sirius long after he had walked by. It made her want to giggle slightly; they looked decidedly foolish.

In no time at all they had reached the large oak doors, usually wide open to the hall. James, Sirius, Remus and Peter all stood in a ring facing them, the crowd gave them a large amount of space she noticed. She also noticed Alice moved deliberately around the circle to stand next to James.

"Do you lot know what's happening?" Lauren asked, looking flabbergasted at the doors.

Alice looked a bit excited, "men from the Auror department are here! James heard them all meeting with Dumbledore, he thinks their going to talk to us before the feast."

Lauren frowned, "why though? Did you hear anything else?" she directed the last at James.

James, studying the doors with a curious expression sighed, "nothing that indicates why..."

Lily looked at him closely for a minute, he seemed to be holding back slightly, "well, what do you think they want?" James jerked his eyes to her suddenly. She felt oddly exposed as they took her in. After a moment, he looked away quickly and hesitantly said, "well...I only heard for a moment. But something about, something about 'managing the situation' and needing the support of Dumbledore to do it... and safety stuff...just well...dunno..."

"Go on," Lily prompted, interested. James looked at her again. She wished he wouldn't. But he seemed to suddenly change his mind about something and, taking a quick breath, it all rushed out of him in a low voice. The others leaned in.

"Hogwarts is supposedly the safest place, although we all know insides are crawling with shit like death eaters obviously, but as far as parents are concerned those shits are just students too. It's the only reason we haven't all been dragged home by various family members. But managing situations and needing Dumbledore's help, and needing to address the student body... either way it obviously involves us and Dumbledore's charge over us, if they need his help...managing the situation, keeping us safe...from the sounds of it, they either want us all out of Hogwarts or locked in. The only thing that I can really think of involving us, safety and Dumbledore to be honest. It's nearly Christmas...we'd be leaving anyway, so I think this means they want us here. To stay here." They all stared at him, Remus was the first to speak shaking his head,

"Parents would be furious with that...especially over Christmas..."

James shrugged, but Lily thought she could see how his mind had come to that conclusion...

Sirius frowned, "mate, if that's the case, we're all sitting ducks...all we need is one big move and we're wiped out..."

James shook his head; Lily quite agreed, "No that wouldn't be it at all," she protested, they all turned to look at her, including James, "think about it, more together in one place is much more of a defence system than if we were dotted across the country, being taken out one at a time...and as for 'one big move'...there is a reason this school is believed to be the most safe. There is no 'one big move' short of war waged directly on us that could take us out...and Dumbledore's here...Voldemort won't touch it as long as that is the case. To me, I think it makes sense." Alice nodded thoughtfully, "My mother would love it. She was panicked over my safety last I went back..."

Suddenly the doors began to open, creaking deep and loud; the crowds started to pour immediately into the hall, pressing in even against James and Sirius. They had no choice but to practically run forward or be crushed in the tide. Sitting down a little breathless, they all took in the people standing around in front of the teachers table at the head of the hall. Three of the men looked rather young, not much older than they, but the other 4 were clearly distinguished members of, not the Auror department Lily thought, but at least the ministry. The younger men did not look happy for some reason.

Once everyone was settled a wheezing old man stepped forward and called for the halls attention.

"We have been discussing a matter with your headmaster for quite some time now... we have also sent letters home to all your parents, but in light of recent events...you will read about such events tomorrow... we believe it is for your own safety that you all remain at school over the Christmas holiday -"

The reaction was instant, many people seemed extremely annoyed at such a decision, some actually seemed distraught over it, others looked vaguely excited... Lily and the others all just looked at each other. James had been right it seemed.

* * *

Lily was dreaming...

_James was laughing at her...he wasn't making a sound. She could feel the tears leaking down her face uncontrollably, the room was so dark. Why was it dark? Why would anything be so dark?? Patches of odd colours swam across her vision, obscuring it. She screamed. She screamed. Her parents swung ominously in the dark before her – they were dead; blood leaking steadily from their eyeballs... Lauren stood to the side of them, observing them calmly, "they were muggles Lily, muggles...you remember muggles don't you? Their won't be many soon...won't be many"_

_James held her wrists very tightly, why was he holding so tight? He was cutting off circulation to her hands... his face was disgusting, contorted into an expression of pure evil, laughing at her, laughing at her...but he wasn't making a sound. He kissed her. She could feel it then, his hands were gone, they were chains...so heavy... so painful... Severus tried to free her, muttering, "you could never understand...he fancies you! You said arrogant toerag...toerag you said...you lied!!" He screamed at her, blood spitting out at her from his mouth. She vomited. No, nothing came out. James was laughing at her...not making a sound. "Why!" Lily wailed, she screamed again, "why?!" James stood in front of her...she could only see his eyes... Suddenly the grass was so green between her toes, so cool, midnight air blew pleasantly across her face. James smiled...the smile was so warm...she put her arms around his neck"Why don't you ask me out again James? Go on, like you used to," Lily laughed, James smile went away...he shook his head... His robes shifted...Alice started grow out of them. Lily screamed. Lily felt things shattering...glass? Was it glass? Remus pulled her up...she was over the edge of a cliff and then turned to her, holding up a rope "when its time, its time..." he was so wise...why was he saying that – James laughed still...never making a sound...he never spoke to her at all...never... Why did he never speak?? She heard screams - "Lily," a voice whispered, "your parents. Petunia. They're dead - _

Lily gasped, rolling over so fast she slid painfully off the bed. Breathing fast and cursing her neck, it had started hurting again slightly, she awkwardly pulled herself on to her bed again, sitting down heavily. Frowning, she tried to remember what her dream had been about...but it was already fading into distant memory. It was also 3 in the morning. Sighing she decided she should drink some water and then go to bed. She got up and climbed a narrow flight of stairs on the far side of her bedroom that led to the bathroom. She was still vaguely disorientated – what had that dream been about? The little label outside the door indicated it was free so she walked into the bathroom. It really was lovely. With a very tall archway holding two intricate glass doors that led to a rather large balcony, the bathroom was bathed in moonlight. It was of white marble with detailed golden lions filling every fourth tile, the bath built into the ground was of a size of a considerably large hot tub... it even had some of a hot tubs settings from what she had seen so far...Apart from bathroom and shower, the rest of the bathroom was split almost in two. Down the middle, a row of counters and sinks kept the head girls and head boys products and such separate, lined by mirrors that were gilded with gold. She loved the bathroom, it was Hogwarts at its grandest she thought. Lily screamed. Looming out of the dark was a shadow of someone else, and on turning round quickly to see who, James started to chuckle slightly. She immediately frowned – what the hell was he doing?

"Potter, what are you doing?! It's 3 in the morning?!"

He shrugged, "could ask the same of you, Miss Evans." Annoyed, and finding it hard to see what expression his face held she quickly pulled on handle near the door. He blinked in the glow of the lights that had just turned on.

"Why didn't you change the labels?" She demanded.

"I didn't expect you to be around at 3 in the morning," he answered, smirking, "Plus, I was only standing on the balcony. Hardly the sort of thing that would be offending to your eyes." She wasn't sure about that, he was only in his boxers and a t-shirt...she was used to seeing him in shirts and robes... Suddenly she became very aware that she was in a lot less, just a t-shirt...it barely reached her thighs. But, James was looking into her face, so crossing her arms she sighed, "well...I just woke up and I need...I need some water, so...that's what I'm going to get..." He shrugged, "Go ahead."

She nodded and began to walk past him. Why wasn't he looking away? She smiled and continued. He smiled back, something mischievous in his eyes.

"Don't you have something to do?" she demanded. Again he shrugged in that annoyingly ambiguous fashion. Sighing she decided to ignore him completely and march towards the sinks, as much as one could march in a t-shirt.

"We haven't spoken much this year," he said, he'd turned around to watch her drink. She put the glass down, answering derisively "Oh no."

He grinned, "We really should. We are head boy and girl you know."

"And Merlin knows how you got that."

James laughed slightly, "contrary to what you believe Evans, I'm not a bad person."

She nodded, "Of course, bullying your way through school... putting almost everyone in Slytherin down out of pure habit. I can see, by the way, how criticising them so often helped the majority of them steer clear of becoming death eaters..." Oddly, that insolent grin of his had long since gone. He was looking around him – no longer looking at her. They didn't speak for a while. James leant back against a wall, Lily stood sipping her water. She knew she should leave about now...but for some reason she stayed where she was.

"Look," he said quietly, "I'm well aware...I'm aware I wasn't exactly nice when I was younger...but come on, I haven't said a word this year! I haven't even said anything to that Snivellus person you seem to care about so much, despite the fact he doesn't care about-"

"Well now you're positively charming! Don't talk about things you haven't got a clue about. Whatever you think of him, whatever he's become now, he was a good person!! And you know what?!" she rounded on him angrily, "He was one of my best friends, and I fucking hate you Potter, because I honestly believe that part of the reason he is where he is now is entirely your doing. You and Sirius and, although I hate to say it, even Remus at times put him down when you had no cause to other than that he was a Slytherin, and you were soooo sure what that made him!"

"If you're trying to tell me that I was the only one doing anything then you've got another bloody think coming! Come on! He hated us too! For exactly the same non-existent reasons as us. And as for prejudices about Slytherin?? I hardly think it's my fault he chose being a Death Eater over being friends with you." The last was said coldly. James was glaring at her, fury clear in his eyes. She couldn't remember when he'd moved closer, but he had. He was only a couple of paces from her. She knew she should definitely leave now, or even just look away. But she couldn't. So, she just gave up.

"I'm sorry." Her voice was dead as she said it.

James blinked. Apparently he hadn't been expecting an apology. After a while of simply standing there, Lily watching the anger slowly leaving his eyes he shrugged again, looking away.

"Sorry too." They awkwardly stood there for a long while, not quite meeting each others eyes.

"Hey Evans,"

She looked up. He was smiling sheepishly.

"Could we be friend's this year do you think?"

Strangely, she felt her self smiling, genuinely, back at him. "Very well Potter." He grinned, something odd in his eyes. She thought she'd seen the same look in Severus' eyes before.


	6. Chapter 6

It was the most bizarre thing, but one of Lily's favourite pastimes was quick becoming not only keeping company with her two best friends, but also to enjoy the rather over adventurous company of The Marauders. They had told her that name just the other day. Apparently they had fashioned it for themselves some time ago. They even told her their nicknames, although were vague about where they had got them from.

One of oddest parts of it, was that they were the only 4 boys in the school that genuinely seemed to like her presence, and were not under the misapprehension that she was flirting with them in any way. She had always liked boys, they were loud, they rolled in the dirt without a care and laughed themselves stupid over the most trivial things. For the first time in what felt like ages she was having enormous amounts of fun. Sadly, Lauren seemed to get a bit bored in their company and Alice was too busy trying to stand around looking pretty for James to be much involved. So, Lily inevitably was the one that became part of their group, if not an actual marauder.

"You can be like, a Marauderette." Sirius said confidently. The five of them were trudging through heavy snowfall, late on Christmas Eve. "We should get you something to symbolise your coming into our group."

"Such as what?" she asked intrigued.

"We could...steal her something..." James offered; he was serious too. She knew she shouldn't exactly encourage that sort of behaviour but something about the way James said it, the way his eyes sparkled with excitement, made her giggle.

"Like what?!"

"Oh no!" both Remus and Sirius moaned at once,

"What?" James demanded.

"James you've done it..." Sirius said, his voice all mock dissaproval.

"Really done it." Remus put in, grinning.

"You have turned our Lily, our innocent Lily, into a thief."

James grinned and put on a face of great outrage, "how dare you suggest such a thing! I?! One could never turn her into a thief...look at her...she's a bloody angel!" Lily who had been laughing throughout this exchange, felt her cheeks going slightly pink as James beamed at her. He had sounded too close to sincerity... She hoped they just thought her cheeks were cold from the snow.

"No," said Sirius looking heartbroken, "Don't try to comfort me...she's gone forever."

"Hey Sirius." Lily called. He looked up, only to have a massive lump of snow fly into his face. His friends roared with laughter as Lily grinned triumphantly, twirling her wand. She had always been so good with charms.

The rest of their time outside was a mere blur. Throwing snowballs left and right, finally resorting to just picking them up by hand, whilst Peter dodged panicked in-between them all, refusing to be a part of a fight where no-one was winning. It had been immensely fun though, and, breathless, they returned to the castle.

As they reached the inside of the doors, two of the younger men that had come from the ministry swooped down upon them.

"Where have you all just been?!" the first demanded. He couldn't be that much older than they, two three years at the most. But, he was using every month to his advantage it seemed.

"In the snow," Sirius shrugged.

"You've all been asked to stay put so what the hell do you think your doing cavorting around the school grounds when -"

"Michael?" the other said softly, "You said you wanted to go on a break, I'll handle this for you, its fine." Michael scowled and stormed off.

The other shrugged, "Sorry about that, he just gets a bit paranoid is all." This one, unlike his partner, had an overwhelmingly friendly face, and although rather broad in shoulder and clearly quite strong, he moved carefully and slowly, as though wary of bumping in to people.

"I didn't realise the ministry had left some men behind..." Remus asked tentatively.

The man grinned wryly, "We hardly count for their men. We're just supposed to keep an eye on things. Being trainees we can't really do anything helpful apparently, so they sent us here."

"What are you training to be?" James asked curiously

"Auror." The boys looked impressed. Lily wasn't surprised; it was without a doubt, especially now, one of the more dangerous professions.

"What's your name?" asked Sirius

"Frank Longbottom." Lily frowned as she saw Sirius' eyes, glittering with amusement, look briefly at James. But James was still staring, somewhat in awe of Frank. "How long you gotta train for?"

"A long time," Frank smiled, "It varies a lot to be honest. For the particular field I want to go into, I've got to train for seven years." Frank frowned, "You look really familiar..."

James looked a bit awkward, "Uh, my parents were Aurors."

"Oh," Frank delicately let the matter drop, he had obviously registered who they were.

"There you guys are!" Alice was walking towards them, "Where've you been?"

"We were just out in the snow." Lily answered.

She nodded and stopped suddenly, she looked a bit surprised to find someone else there. "Who are you?" she demanded suddenly, frowning at Frank, who had gone slightly pink when she spoke. He gave his name, to which she nodded, smiled politely, but then proceeded to ignore him as she told them that as it was Christmas Eve there would be some entertainment at tonight's meal. Vaguely excited, they all proceeded to say goodbye to Frank and walked up to the Gryffindor common room.

"Mr Potter! Miss Evans! Where have you been? I've sent every Prefect in the school looking for you!"

The others grinned wickedly at them and ran off as Lily and James, grumbling, turned and walked back towards Professor Mcgonagall.

"We were just out in the snow and thought -"

"Never mind, never mind. We have a lot to do! Tonight's entertainment and such. Come along. You both must help -"

"Professor," Lily interupted, "we're very cold and wet from the snow, could we change first before-"

"Absolutely not! Change before dinner if you will, but right now you will have to deal with it. Here -"

The professor most unhelpfully got her wand out and simply removed all water from her hair. The result was a pile of frizz was all that remained. James quickly stifled a laugh. Professor Mcgonagall winced slightly, but then shrugged, "well, come along then." Lily quickly scraped it all into a bun, James giggling quietly beside her.

* * *

Hours later, with just half an hour before the feast, everyone moving in the opposite direction, James and Lily trudged, exhausted towards the seventh floor. Lily rubbed her neck; it was hurting a lot now. As they began walking past the library, James frowned at her, "What's wrong with your neck?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

"You keep rubbing it. Does it hurt?" He looked directly at her, and so she sighed. "I injured it a little while ago, so it hurts sometimes."

Suddenly he put a hand behind her neck. Shivering slightly she quickly ducked out of the way, "What are you doing?"

He laughed, "I'm not like going to injure it further... but you can feel what's wrong with something...so my dad used to say. Look, I'll show you..." Warily she stood still as he put his hand behind her neck and gently moved his fingers. She had goosebumps... and she wasn't about to admit it...but it felt kind of nice. With a twinge of regret, she watched him pull his hand away.

"You've pulled the muscle quite badly you know."

She shrugged, "It's ok, I-"

"No I mean it," he said seriously, "Look," he put his fingers back on her neck, "that right there, where my thumb is," she winced slightly, and he nodded, "yer, that's it, you've got to go see -"

He cut off as suddenly Severus walked out of the library. Sev just stood there... looking at them, eyeing the hand James had rested behind Lily. Lily felt terrible...she hadn't done anything wrong though...had she?

Severus turned and walked quietly off the other way.

* * *

It turned out that for the evenings entertainment, (supplied by the ministry as compensation for their being practically locked in Hogwarts), they had retrieved, somehow, the infamous band Wolfsbane. The reaction was unanimous. They were thrilled. The tables had been pushed aside, food was instead served on tables lining the sides of the hall, punch flowed out of glass fountains and various bits of mistletoe had been dotted around the hall for effect. All in all, it looked impressive. Screaming along to the music, Lily suddenly felt herself being pulled back and looked around. Remus and Sirius had both pulled her back into their rather violent circle of boys, who were shoving each other enthusiastically to the music. Laughing she joined in, but on seeing a defenceless girl had joined them, they all simply piled on top of her roaring in delight. As the song ended everyone, breathless and laughing stumbled to the sides of the hall for punch. Lily had noticed a steady decline in everyone's speaking skills...she suspected something had gone awry with the punch...

Giggling uncontrollably, she promptly slid down the wall next to Remus and Sirius.

"It's good that you joined our group Lily!" Remus declared loudly, gulping down some more punch.

Sirius yelled his agreement, clapping her on the back, and she burped slightly. They both laughed uncontrollably. She blushed, giggling, "I'm ever so sorry!"

"Don't be!! THAT can be your initiation into the group. You are now officially a Marauderette!"

They all clanged their goblets together with a loud, "CHEERS!" well...perhaps it sounded more like 'sheerbs'.

"Where...where's that Jame- Where's Potter?"

Remus shrugged. Sirius however looked at her with a very upset look on his face, "Lily, why, why did you never say yes to James? He asked like so many times!! I was sure one day you would say yes... you had to! I even told him you would!"

Lily laughed, "I had to? Don't think so. And anyway, before this year you have to admit, he wasn't exactly being nice."  
Remus and Sirius both shook their heads adamantly.

"He wasn't perfect," said Remus, rather loudly, looking at her imploringly "But Lily I have never...never met someone who has done as much as he did for me! He is the best...the best of people Lily I swear!"

Sirius nodded vigorously, "Lily seriously..." Sirius giggled suddenly, "'seriously' sounds like Siriusly, did you ever notice that Remus?"

"No Padfoosh!! I did not!!" They both giggled hysterically for a good long minute. Lily was frowning to herself.

"What's Potter done that so great?" Sirius looked at her very seriously, (or 'Siriusly'), "Lily, he is like my brother..." the boy actually looked on the verge of tears, "He has been...so good to me...him and his family...like a brother...and for Remus...It was all his idea you know! All the time and effort we spent to keep Moony company it was all his idea! He's so good Lily, If only you knew!! I fucking...I fucking love that boy. He is my brother, I don't care that we're not related...hey we're both pure bloods maybe we're related anyway!! I just...I just wish you'd say yes to him...just once because James...James loves you. He has forever. He never spoke about it that much...but I...I can tell... He denied it this year he does, but he do, he does love you. He's like obsessed with you!! NO, not in a bad way...he just can't seem to get you out of his head. And I...I've never felt that way about any girl...Don't be, getting me wrong or anything, your a fantastic girl honestly, I just...find most girls like... boring. I'll kiss them and that, that bits obviously fun!!But, as long as I got people like Prongs alongside me, I'm not fussed about them. Not really, you know? What about Remus, you, you Remus...you haven't had a girlfriend yet either have you?"

Remus looked rather depressed, "I...it'd be...unfair to ask." Sirius nodded sadly. Lily wasn't really concentrating on what they were saying. Her mind was oddly blank... James loved her did he? Why then, was he kissing Alice underneath the mistletoe?

Suddenly a loud voice boomed throughout the Great Hall.

"EVERYONE IS TO RETURN TO THEIR COMMON ROOMS IMMEDIATELY. STAY CALM, NO-ONE IS IN DANGER."

Immediately, something of a panic arose. What was going on? Various people started moaning about Voldemort being in the castle, despite the assurance that there was no danger. Lily, feeling rather wobbly, got up with Remus and Sirius shuffling alongside her. They were drunk. And no denying it. Someone had definitely put something in that punch. She saw James ahead. She thought she might cry. She had no need of course; obviously she was just drunk.

On reaching the common room, Lily felt herself starting to sober up. They had been waiting there for quite a while, only a few contemplating what might be happening. Most sat rather quietly, expecting the worst. Mcgonagall finally came through the portrait hole and Gryffindor stilled completely. The Professor looked very grave...very grave indeed.

"I am going to call out everyone's names. You must all say yes immediately if your name is called. If anyone does not call back, then if someone knows where they are say so immediately." Her tone was final. As soon as names were called, loudly and quickly people began answering their names. One or two were in the hospital wing, a cold or some such. Everyone else was present, and as Mcgonagall reached the end of her list, she began to visibly look more relaxed. She finished and lowered her list, they all looked at her expectantly.

"Well, I suppose you are all wondering the need for such activity." She took a deep breath, "Several students...more than several, left tonight. I'm not going to pretend this isn't the case, but I do not, do not want this to effect your view on others from their house, understood!?" she shrieked the last, but did not wait for a reply, "but most of those missing are Slytherin. It is sadly believed they have left to join...their master." Their was a deadly hush. Somebody sobbed slightly in the background. "They, they declared themselves Death Eaters on the note they left behind. They have no intention of returning. But, contrary to whatever you may think of them, I ask...I beg you to wish for their safety...they are ALL young. Misguided may be, but no-one I have seen passing through this school I could name evil. Please remember that." Her gaze swept over them all, and suddenly she turned, marching out through the portrait hole.

* * *

Christmas was barely acknowledged. The atmosphere within the school had been changed irreversibly. It had never really hit Hogwarts. The deaths of many family members, whilst horrible, whilst continuing to happen, could be ignored, could be endured. The pain of it was not overtly clear, and so although a worry, it could, without much effort, be put aside. Torturing of loved ones outside Hogwarts was too awful to even consider thinking about...another aspect also ignored. None of the students themselves had been hurt yet, it was not an issue. The war raging around them had not in any obvious way, hit Hogwarts. But seeing the Slytherin table, (a large portion of it now empty), and being in classes where half the pupils were missing, knowing where they had gone, and what to do, was too much. The pupils of Hogwarts were touched by the war as they had never been before. They began to feel afraid. To feel desperate. They worried constantly for their families, waking up in the middle of the night gasping, images of blood, of pain, of screams flashing through their heads. At first, the school had seemed too quiet. People, however much they had disliked the various Slytherins now gone, wanted them back, if only to delude them a little longer that they could go on ignoring the problems of this war. But after a while...people began to shiver over the idea that one night whilst they slept, those people would indeed return, but only to finish them off.

* * *

Last week, James had been having the time of his life, for the first time in what seemed like ages. This week, he was miserable. And it wasn't just this new depression that seemed to have befallen the majority of the student body. He understood that Lily must be upset, just as everyone else was, over the missing Slytherins, especially on hearing that Snape had been the one leading Death Eaters out of the Castle. But why, (Merlin's beard, why?) was she being so off with _him_? What had he honestly done? Perhaps she believed, despite the fact he'd called her down on it, (much to his regret), that he still was to blame over Snape's behaviour? That was preposterous though. She was smarter than that...he knew she was. One of the girls from his Potions class managed to smile at him, he strolled on past though, wrapped up in his own thoughts. He didn't even notice when Sirius called out his name.

"Oi! Prongs! I'm talking to you!"

He looked around and grinned at him, "Sorry, your highness." Sirius, thank goodness, was exactly the same. Even if Voldemort himself decided to climb into bed with him one night, Sirius would still be the same, nothing seemed to get at him. Sirius pushed him on the shoulder roughly, and stepped in beside him "come on, what the hells up with you. You've been as hormonal as a fucking woman." James almost grinned. This was Sirius' way of saying "What's wrong, you seem sad."

James didn't feel like talking about it though. He'd moaned enough about Lily last year he was sure. Instead he grinned, (he prided himself on being able to grin so well) and shrugged. "Just thinking about stuff...all the Death Eaters leaving and that... big news don't you reckon?"

Sirius shrugged non-committally, "Suppose. Glad Snivellus is out though." James repressed a wince and nodded. That brought him right back to thoughts of Lily.

"Full moon tonight."

James nodded slowly, "Yeah, it is. We going out, yeah?"

Sirius grinned, "Of course! I have a great idea for a new game tonight you know...of course Peter might not be too happy about it, but he is the smallest..."

James laughed reluctantly, "Sirius one day he is going to get you back baaaad you know."

Sirius, still grinning, shrugged and growled ominously under his breath.

"No-one ever gets me back Prongs."

James scoffed, and promptly slammed Sirius into the wall with a shout of triumph. Sirius laughing loudly and shoved James all the way back to the opposite wall. The wall crashed into James' back but he just grinned even wider, yelling, and the two of them, as always, starting scuffling across the corridor, both giggling despite both being winded.

"Oi! Mcgonagall is on her way!" Sirius and James both leapt up, Remus was running towards them, ushering them to move. The three of them made a run for it.

"The head boy!" Sirius called across the corridor, "I can't believe your irresponsible behaviour James Potter – what the hell do you mean by it!"

"Shut your face, Black. You should be more careful, wouldn't want to harm what little parts you have -"

"I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW, my parts are just fine! And you Prongs, can't even get that broomstick up from what I hear." James tried to lunge across Remus but missed and went flying into the wall. Remus and Sirius collapsed in fits of laughter...and they didn't recover until they had walked all the way back to the common room.

Still chuckling slightly the three of them sat down. The chuckling sounded odd in the rather sober atmosphere of the common room.

"James you should know," Remus said, his smile fading slightly, "Alice was asking after you again."

Sirius snickered. James moaned. That had been a bad idea. It had been an accident. He had been fairly drunk, there had been mistletoe, and she just sort of threw herself at him. He fended her off eventually, but the damage was done. He knew very well that she ,(at the very least), was attracted to him and he had done the wrong thing in encouraging it like this. Remus nodded, he was quiet a time and then said, "Lily saw you, you know."

James stared at Remus, Sirius and Remus both watched for James' reaction. After a moment he shrugged awkwardly, "Well, what she say?"

Remus shrugged in return, still looking at James very directly, he hesitantly started to speak again, "Nothing much, maybe slightly...annoyed. But I couldn't help noticing...she's being a bit off with you lately yeah?"

James frowned, "Yeah, so?"

Remus seemed to be holding back a smile. Sirius suddenly grinned looking at Remus.

"What?"

Sirius turned to James, looking genuinely happy – a rare thing in Sirius...

"What if she's jealous?"

James gulped slightly thinking it through. He couldn't help it, he smiled, happily back at Sirius.

"But this also is a problem is it not?" Remus put in timidly.

"Why?" Sirius demanded.

"Well...I can't imagine she'd do anything as long as her friend seems to like you...and on top of that, she surely won't trust you."

James couldn't help it...he dismissed Remus' objections...this was his best plan yet... he already had an idea of how to gain Lily's trust , and nothing was going to stop him. Nothing. He'd not asked her out this year because for the first time, he had truly believed she would never say yes. He was indeed every bit as arrogant as she had suggested. But now that he had hope, even the tiniest, he was going to have Lily whatever Remus said.

"Remus old friend, I have a great...a very great favour to ask of you..."

He eyed James warily, no doubt he saw that manic look James was well aware he got whenever he was worked up about something, "what?"

"I...I would like...with your permission...to tell her about Moony..."

Even Sirius stared at him.


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren and Lily were sat by a window in the common room, each in their own thoughts. The snow swirled hypnotically, so thick the outside world was barely visible. Lily was thankful that she was curled up in an armchair, the fire warming the room pleasantly. Not that the atmosphere was very warm. The news had come this morning of, not deaths, but disappearances; a lot of disappearances. The Daily Prophet was littered with obscure stories containing nothing more than contradicting details, hidden facts and each held an obvious air of being just as confused as its readers. Lily had to make herself read the paper in the morning, but chills still crept down her spine as she did. The Christmas Holidays, if they could be called that, were almost over. She wished they would hurry up though. She longed for some kind of regular pattern and structure...something to take her mind off...everything. The portrait hole opened and Lily was surprised to see Frank walk in, looking around the room seriously. When she caught his eye, she beckoned him over.

"What are you doing up here?"

"Mcgonagall," he answered wryly, "She wanted me to do more thorough watches throughout the school." He looked bitter for a moment, "I really cannot see how I'm doing any good."

Lily shrugged, "Least you're given something to do. Possible things to do are down to zero. Have you heard the rule about being inside the common rooms as soon as dinners over?"

He nodded, smiling sympathetically. He then held out his hand to Lauren, "I'm Frank, by the way. I'm supposed to be watching over you all." Lauren smiled at him, "Lauren. What do you usually do then?"

"Training to be an Auror."

She was another one to look impressed.

"Where's your blonde friend?" he asked.

"Alice?" Lily said tentatively, when he nodded she and Lauren both glanced at each other.

Frank frowned, "Something wrong with... One of her relatives have gone missing haven't they?"

They nodded, and Frank shook his head looking appalled.

"I heard that...her father died earlier this year as well, that true?"

Lauren sighed, "Alice is having a tough year."

He looked bitter again, "Just wish I could do something to help. My own parents...died for similar reasons."

They were quiet a time...in truth neither Lauren nor Lily really knew what to say. They were lucky enough to still have both of their parents. It was a luxury however, that they were fast learning the worth of.

"Sorry," he said wincing, "Didn't mean to make you all more depressed." Lauren immediately shook her head whilst Lily fiercely rounded on Frank, "Don't apologise. You have every right to say such things. Lets face it, times being what they are at the moment, its fitting. People are being killed off, and with not even so much as with the compensation of making some sort of headway in this dreadful war. He's winning and we know it. We know the ministry can't handle it and we know that its partly working for Voldemort anyway. We know that nothing, nothing is being achieved. We're...we are lost."

Frank looked at her a long moment. He looked at Lauren. Then he sat down on the edge of a chair in front of them, leaning close. In barely a whisper, he started, hesitantly, to speak.

"There is...there is some form...of resistance you know..."

The two girls frowned.

"What do you mean? What resistance?"

He took a deep breath, "I cannot believe I am telling you this. It's more than my life's worth, and no offence meant, you're also way too young... but you seem ...so annoyed. Well, this groups all very annoyed. But we're active. Very active. And so far, we've been the only thing that's working."

Lily hardly dared believe her ears.

Frank's voice lowered even further, he cast looks furtively round at the common room, "The Order Of The Pheonix. Dumbledore's name. He's the leader...of course. I'm...I'm in it. But since my parents got tracked down, that's why I've been dragged here. Keep a low profile for a bit. I just," his voice became stronger, "I just think you need to know. You're not alone in feeling...lost...but we're finding solutions. It's slow but we are. I swear that."

For a moment, they stared. Lily was the first to speak,

"Does he know?" she whispered.

"Voldemort?" Frank snorted softly, "Has his suspicions of course... otherwise my parents would most definitely be alive. But he can't track us down whole, he doesn't know who's in it. And, to be honest, there's a lot of people in it. Not so many that we can full on go to war. But enough that what we're doing makes a difference. A bunch of Aurors are in it for instance."

Lauren and Lily looked at each other.

"This should be the ministry though," Lauren said quietly, shaking her head, "They should be making the changes. They have the power!"

Frank looked at her sadly, "And how much of that power is controlled by us any more? The ministry isn't right. Voldemorts first plan of action was to filter into the ministry and he's managed it superbly. Not so much that we're completely done for, but enough that we simply cannot trust trying to operate quietly from within the ministry."

"And how far can you trust the ones you have?" Lily asked, "I'm...not suggesting people you know and like are suddenly going to betray you...but there's the imperius curse and such isn't there?" Frank nodded,

"We have certain ways of communicating with each other, we established them first as you can imagine. It works...I suppose it has to."

Lily felt something inside stir as it hadn't done in weeks; hope, and...perhaps pride. Something that was worth fighting against Voldemort for...

"Frank?" he looked at her, and she drew herself up, wanting him to see her as more than some teenager, "I want to join."

Lauren stared at her like she was mad.

"Lily, you can't just join in the fun!"

Lily turned to look at Lauren, her face determined, "Why not? I could do something to help surely! Even if I cannot leave this castle. Wouldn't you like to?"

Lauren sighed, "Of course I would. But, realistically, what can we do?"

They both looked at Frank.

But he didn't answer. He got up from his chair briskly,

"I'd appreciate it if you'd both keep this to yourselves. Except your friend, Alice – tell her. She'll need to hear something positive. But don't let her tell family members. I have to go." With just a smile and a wave he walked quickly out of the common room.

Lily was still contemplating this order of the phoenix idea well into the evening. She wondered about Frank's abrupt departure from their conversation...did it mean he was considering it? She felt so strongly she needed to help, surely that was worth something. Alice had come down from her bedroom at one point, looking tired and fed up. They had told her about it, and a grim determination had set about her eyes.

"Well then, I'm joining."

Lauren rolled her eyes and began firmly, "No, we cannot simply-"

"Lauren!" Alice said it so aggressively they both stared at her, "Whatever you think you know about anything, just forget it! I'm tired of sitting here, doing nothing and listening to my family being attacked from every direction, simply because they believe in fighting for the right thing! In the morning I'm going to find Frank. I'm going to make him tell me what I must do."

* * *

It was well into the night. Lily slipped on her small t-shirt and shorts for bed, but did not climb into it. She sat on the edge of it playing absent-mindedly with her hair. Critically, Lily noticed it had grown way past her shoulder this year, falling in deep auburn waves that almost reached her chest! She was trying to decide whether she liked it better longer, running her fingers through it curiously, when she heard a creak from farther into the bedroom. Alarmed, she dived for her wand and crouched beside her bed swiftly. But, peeking over the edge of it she saw James bloody Potter strolling with ease into her room, stopping as he scanned the premises for her. She jumped up and he gave a funny kind of yelp, very nearly making her giggle. Very nearly, but not quite.

"Shit, you scared me!" he gasped.

Lily crossed her arms, (telling herself it was from anger, not vulnerability, that she did so).

"What are you doing in my room! Get out!"

He raised up his hands defensively. Immediately, (irritatingly) at ease once more.

"Calm down, I'm not going to be here long," his eyes moved over the contents of her room and she reddened slightly. Almost all she had worn in the week was simply scattered about the floor. Her draws and wardrobes were all open and her desk was a mess of paper, ink and, much to her mortification, (and vague confusion) underwear. The sight seemed to amuse him. "Nice room, Evans."

Lily tried to force herself to be cool, and not to appear flustered, "What do you want?!", but it did not seem to be working. Luckily for he though, and quite surprisingly, his apparent calm slowly seemed to be unravelling somewhat.

James fidgeted, drumming his fingers at his sides, eyes darting about the room; he looked nervous.

"We're...we're friends now right?"

The question made her pause. Where was he going with this? "...Yes, I said we are didn't I?"

Slightly awkward, he spoke again, "Yeah, it's just I couldn't help noticing you've been a bit...off with me lately...perhaps its just my imagination..."

Lily was unbelievably grateful for the semi-darkness present in her room. Her cheeks burned red; she thought she had been discreet about that, but he'd obviously noticed. She felt confusion replace embarrassment quickly though; why should she care if he noticed? And why had she been ignoring him in the first place? Then she realised that whilst James was still looking at the floor, his eyes were trying to watch her face whilst trying to seem not to. Hurriedly she answered, "Oh no, that's just me. I've been like that with everyone lately. Sorry if I offended you..." She couldn't help but feel slightly proud of that. It had sounded entirely convincing. For some reason James didn't look all that happy with her response though. "Ah," was all he said. For a moment they stood there in silence. Lily thought she had left awkward moments like this behind...

"Is that all you came here to say then?"

He hesitated, his eyes darting about her face until, "um...ye...yeah. That's all. Sorry to have bothered you." He was already moving back as he said it. Lily frowned, and she felt her feet move slowly towards him. There must be something more...some reason he had to stay...just a little bit longer...

"Y-you're sure?"

He stopped dead when she spoke, his eyes fixed on hers...they seemed to be searching for something...

Anxious to see his expression clearly she edged slowly just that bit nearer. She was but a few paces from him now.

"Was there something else?" she asked quietly. His face was bloody unreadable... she strained to even make out his eyes.

He carried on looking at her a while, then, in a very soft...almost gentle voice, he said "I wanted to show you something."

Her heart started being very fast. Something about that voice made her want to...want to what??

"We do, I mean," he said hastily,"The Marauders think you should know something now," he seemed to gulp, "but if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not even Lauren or Alice..."

Lily was more than intrigued, she was fascinated.

"I...I promise."

He took a deep breath, "Would...would you come with me then? So we can show you?"

Lily hesitated. "This isn't like a trick or anything?"

"No, most definitely not!" The sincerity in James' voice would make him one hell of an actor if he was lying... something in his eyes told her he wasn't though...

She nodded, "I'll come with you."

He sighed heavily, as though he'd been holding his breath. "Right, um... meet me in the bathroom in a bit? You're gonna need to get dressed. We're...we're going outside."

"What? How?"

James looked at her a little longer, but simply said, "You'll see," and darted back up the stairs.

Lily stood in the middle of the floor staring after him...until suddenly she was overwhelmed by a crash of feelings. She was excited. More than excited. After being bored, after feeling so fed up... She rushed around her room looking for some clothes. It was the middle of the night in winter; she would have to dress for warmth it seemed...but she still chose her nicer coat. And James was taking her... the excitement built up even further. She walked quickly up the stairs, (after spraying a little perfume on).

James was standing in the moonlight. He had a dark coat on with a Gryffindor scarf hanging round his neck. That strikingly black hair he had was its usual rumpled self; she suppressed the rather disturbing urge to run her fingers through it.

For a moment they looked at each other, until he frowned in amused puzzlement.

"Are you wearing anything under that coat?"

She gave a start and looked down; she had a skirt on although the coat went over it, so all he could see were the dark woollen tights she had on (they made her legs look rather slim she knew), accompanied by leather boots.

Indignantly she crossed her arms, "I have a skirt on idiot, can we go?"

With a small smirk he nodded and came towards her. He looked very serious and searched her face again – why did he keep doing that? - and began to speak softly...it was that gentle voice again, "Before...before I show you the main secret I wanted to show you one of my own. The others know about it, but its mine. We could actually go without it...but I thought it might be fun this way..." he grinned again, something truly mischievous in his eyes, "You'd better appreciate this, Evans."

She watched curiously as he picked up something he had draped over a towel rail. It unravelled, a silver cloak shimmering in the moonlight and it looked so strange, like water woven into material. She gazed at it,

"What...what is it?" James grinned at her, his eyes sparling,

"It's an invisibility cloak."

* * *

They were out beyond the castle now. Their journey had been in almost silence. In large parts that was due to the amount of people walking warily about the castle nowadays, keeping watch and such, but James didn't think they would have spoken much had the corridors been empty. Since he had wrapped the cloak around them both, James immediately felt the change in her, and his heart had sunk. Rigid as a board, Lily walked stiffly beside him, blatantly uncomfortable and enjoying none of it. Whilst he, usually so collected and together, had to suffer the nuisances of his heart beating so loud and fast he could barely concentrate, and the shivers he got as her body, (and what a body it was) brushed against him...all the way through the entire fucking castle. The only pleasure he was getting out of this was the look in her eyes as he showed her the cloak, a look that thankfully still lingered. _That alone_, he thought to himself, _makes this worth it_. The pure joy, the smile, (that he had been the cause of it all), was enough to keep him feeling even reasonably cheerful throughout their awkward journey.

Slowly, they began walking towards the tree James put some of his happiest memories to. He felt something of an excited rush at the idea that he could share this with Lily... it made him want to smile...but the feeling was removed slightly as he reminded himself of her current attitude. Hope was falling right through the floor again...how could she like him? It was impossible. And he had six years evidence to support that claim, whatever Remus said.

"The Whomping Willow?" she whispered. Nodding, James felt a rush of admiration for her. Not once during this journey had she been afraid. Curious...even cautious at times...but never afraid. It was one of the many qualities he liked about her. He felt hope rise just slightly again at the idea that she might, for some crazy reason, trust him.

Studying the castle behind them for movement, he pulled the cloak off. Lily sighed heavily, and James followed suit; was she that relieved?

He turned to her to see she was watching the tree curiously whilst running a hand through her hair. It kept falling gracefully against her every time she reached the ends...it was a rather unfortunate a distraction.

"I think...I'm just going to tell you now."

She looked at him. Another distraction.

"We come here sometimes...once a month..." he whispered. Lily's eyes widened, and then she said something he didn't expect, although the name made him want to spit.

"Severus...a long time ago...when we were friends was...saved by you down here. Is that correct?"

He frowned, "I didn't _save_ him. I just..." why did he have to admit something like this to her? Tonight of all nights? "We played a trick on him. An awful trick," he looked away from her, her eyes were far too direct, "Back when we were crappy and all. I just got cold feet...what...what did he tell you about it?"  
"Nothing too much... Sirius played the trick...not you. I worked that much out."

James watched her closely. There was no accusation in her eyes.

"Sev had a theory... about Remus and how he goes away once a month and that trick, whatever it was, you don't need to tell me, was linked to it I think. Linked to here."

"What...what was his theory?"

Lily looked a little embarrassed, "I don't think it's right to be honest. It can't be, Remus is so...Well, he basically said that he was...a werewolf?" Lily laughed nervously. It was all James could do not to stare. "So," she continued, "I'm thinking you've brought me here to tell me exactly if he's right maybe?"

James was lost for words. Lily's eyes, searching his face, suddenly began to widen, "No" she breathed. Gulping James nodded, "Remus, he's...he's a werewolf. Got bitten when he was young." Lily's breathing began to quicken and she stood very still. She glanced up at the full moon, and her face seemed to pale.

"Then why...why have you brought me here?"

For the first time, James realised she must be afraid. He didn't blame her. If anything it made him admire her more. She knew Remus the werewolf was out there, and yet she still stood her ground. Even so, James did what he considered to be the most daring thing he had done all year; he took her hand. She practically jumped out her skin, but very strangely, she squeezed back tightly and moved nearer to him.

"I brought you here because with us, it's safe. We've been hanging out with Moony for years."

"But... I thought, as a werewolf, you eat humans...you don't know who your friends are as a werewolf. I can't imagine it of Remus but -"

"Remus has never had human company. I swear that." He grinned as she frowned.

"This is what I brought you out to show you. We learnt how to do it...to keep Moony company."

He stepped back, feeling slightly nervous. He knew how to do it like he knew how to breathe. But it was strange, with Lily watching him so avidly.

He closed his eyes to make it easier, and immediately he felt his mind begin to alter, melting into another form. James' body moved further away from him, and his conscience became almost a separate entity within something else, something entirely new. He was used to this though, he smiled inwardly as he felt certain aspects of his personality slide forward to connect with his other body...the bits that made him into this... bits he had come to identify as pride, a grace of some sort, arrogance, strength, intelligence. And, of course, a need to be free, to live adventure, for the rest of his life. He opened his eyes. It always felt like it took a long time for that process to happen, but he knew only seconds had passed. The world was different from this point of view, colours sharper, sounds were clearer, and he could smell everything. A thousand senses washed over him. He felt...alive...like this. He tilted his head up, feeling the familiar weight of those antlers atop his head...like a crown... Lily was there. He could smell her. The part of him that was human, somewhere in the back of his mind, breathed her in. She was gazing at him and slowly, tentatively, she crouched before him. He could make out every detail on her face, even the faintest freckles.

"James," she whispered, staring in wonder "You're a stag." Lily smiled and he moved nearer to her, being careful he didn't catch her on his antlers. They could be painful. She gently moved a hand out to his nose and giggled as he shook his head quickly – his nose was sensitive. He heard a rustling in the distance. Lily had not – she could not with human hearing. But James lifted his head high, using every inch of his senses. Then, suddenly, that big shaggy dog, as big as even James, came strolling out of the far trees. If he could, he would have grinned. The image of Sirius as that dog could never fail to make James smile. Sirius started moving his paws fast, reaching them quickly. Lily jumped back with a gasp as she finally noticed the dogs arrival. Sirius was huge, not to mention slightly threatening, and she did not know who he was. James instinctively moved in front of her. Lily rested a hand on his shoulder, crouching slightly behind him. He felt oddly... calm, with her near. Usually, when in this form, he had sudden desires to gallop madly through forests without thought of time, or space or dangers. He was free like this. Unattached to human responsibility. But now, here with Lily, he was completely still, and it wasn't a bad feeling.

Suddenly, Sirius in full human form loomed over him and Lily burst out laughing, her expression one of both shock as well as delight.

"You're _both_ animagus! I can't believe this! When did this happen!"

"I think it was in our 5th year we managed to finally do it." James said, stretching from the transformation back into human. He held out his hand and she hurriedly took it, rising up from the floor.

She looked at them both astounded, "Why did you do it?"

James grinned, "Bit of fun maybe?"

Sirius rolled his eyes, "It was James idea, he wanted to think of a way to make Remus feel better, couldn't bare the idea of him being all alone as a werewolf. So he made us go through the rather dangerous process of learning to transform. Took fucking ages...was worth it though..."

Lily was looking at James strangely now.

"How long did it take?" she asked finally,

Her look made James feel vaguely embarrassed...

"Quite long," he shrugged, "Um...we started in 3rd year. So 2 years about."

She practically beamed at him, "Well, its amazing."

James smiled awkwardly, looking at the ground whilst pretending to simply ruffle his hair up a bit. His cheeks felt rather hot.

Sirius snickered slightly, and James glared briefly at him.

"Would you...would you like to come in?" he gestured awkwardly at the tree, still unmoving behind him. She didn't even glance at the tree, she kept her eyes on him and nodded eagerly. He couldn't help it, he laughed a little, feeling pleased, but grimaced inwardly; he must look such a fool. Lily quickly held out her hand,

"Lead the way."

She looked so trusting. James felt some of his confidence, confidence that could never quite be removed from him, come back. He wanted her so badly. He took her hand tightly in his own, pulling her nearer to him as they walked. He thought...he thought he might even need her.


	8. Chapter 8

Lauren had never been anything particularly amazing, not that she knew of. She had therefore quickly become one of those odd people that seemed to observe life as opposed to actually involving herself in it. She liked to think about people…why they did the things they did. It was one of the reasons she had chosen these two particular females as her friends.

Alice, despite all girlish appearances, was ridiculously stubborn, to the point of being forceful. Having met her mother she could guess where such traits may have arisen from. Following the events of this year, Lauren had watched closely her friend's reaction and had found new respect for her. She was resilient. Lauren was forced to conclude that just because a person was cheerful, did not mean they were a fool.

Lily was another matter altogether. She was excellent at smiling and joking in the face of all upset, and yet it had become clear to Lauren that what was going on under the surface was something quite different. Lily was actually a very serious person she decided; she was too passionate, too fierce in her beliefs to simply be the charming, smiling person Lauren spoke to throughout the day. There was something much deeper about Lily.

Walking through the school on her own, Lauren was thinking about all this when suddenly she heard voices. Voices she recognised. Quickly she edged to a near corner and listened. As an observer of life, she had never missed an opportunity to listen.

"…and I can't take it any more! I mean, seriously, that night was great – we were getting along so well!" It was Potter; a very angry and frustrated Potter. This confused Lauren slightly, he always – always – was rather arrogant, very flirtatious, and slightly smug. Never like this.

"Prongs!! Are you blind?!" Sirius voice came clear and strong. "Alice started fucking flirting with you again this week. It's like Moony said: Lily won't go for you as long as her friend is interested."

To say Lauren was interested was an understatement. Blatantly, James still liked Lily. (He'd been awfully good at hiding that!) On top of that, judging by these references that Lily had backed off…could Lily like…? No. Impossible.

"I just…I just…I…" he mumbled something inaudible to Lauren. Apparently it was also inaudible to Sirius.

"What are you blathering? Speak up!"

James responded as though the words were dragged from him, "I don't just want her...I think…I mean I know…I l-love her?"

Sirius didn't say anything for a long while.

"Wow," he said finally, his voice quiet. Lauren agreed with him…wow indeed. "You…you really do…"

James snorted by way of reply. Then, suddenly furious, "Sirius I swear!! You tell a fucking soul -"

"Hey!! Come on it's me! I'm not telling anyone."

There was another silence.

"Well," Sirius said tentatively, "I guess you better tell her one of these days yeah?"

James laughed bitterly, "funny."

Sirius sighed.

"Come on Prongs, you can't stay on the floor all day."

She heard James get to his feet and they started to walk away.

"Prongs what are you up too at the moment?" Sirius said it so suddenly, James stopped walking.

Lauren, who had been about to walk away stayed right where she was.

"What do you mean?"

"You're exhausted every morning. You have been for ages. But the other day I went to your room, it was fairly late and I just felt like pissing about….but you weren't there and you didn't have duties. I went again last night, you weren't there either."

"Are you spying on me now?!" James demanded, but Sirius cut across him,

"I wouldn't be but what the fuck are you up too that you can't tell me about!!" There was a moment's silence. Abruptly James footsteps were marching right towards where Lauren stood. She darted up another corridor just in time to see James stalking down the one she had just been standing in. Sirius footsteps faded into the distance as well.

What had that been about?!

The second part whilst intriguing wasn't really what Lauren was concentrating on that. James _loved_ Lily?? It seemed quite irrational to her. But, there he was saying to Sirius (of all people) that he did. He must…

Suddenly she grinned…this could be a lot of fun… Lauren walked away slowly, the beginnings of several vastly interesting plans forming in her head.

* * *

Alice sat as close as she dared to James. He really was one of the most good-looking people she had ever seen. With warm hazel eyes and that rebellious hair she could, she believed, look at him all day. And he was just so nice! Alice could not believe they had spent so much of their time at Hogwarts turning their noses up at such an agreeable person. Of late though, it was becoming ever so hard to sit next to him. As lovely as he was, she wasn't stupid…she was aware it was all too possible James Potter didn't really like her that way at all…but she was determined to try. She really did like him! Right now he was smiling that smile, (he was so genuine!) and talking pleasantly with her. But, those warm eyes of him kept darting around, as though he might be embarrassed to be seen talking to her. The thought hurt…but she couldn't understand why he would. She wasn't a bad person to be seen with. With very bright blonde hair gracefully falling around a pale face with very blue eyes, Alice was in fact rather appealing. But her grace and efforts were being lost on James.

"Do you know what you're going to do next year then? James?...James?"

"Huh? Oh, next year…um…not really I don't think. Just see what happens."

Alice nodded attentively, but the boy had already looked away!

"With…with the war it'll be hard won't it…getting a job or choosing one."

James nodded. Still, his eyes darted. Was she that bad?

"Yeah," he replied eventually, "Yeah. Sirius says we should all just grab are wands blow up the ministry, blow up Voldemort and then all become quidditch players."

Alice laughed, but then it became too obvious. James actually moved a little away from her, rubbed his nose as an excuse to look down until, to anyone else, it would appear she was talking to the air, whilst he just happened to be sat there. His eyes were looking furtively at someone across the courtyard. Alice glanced briefly and felt her heart sink. It was Lily.

Alice really would have to be stupid not have seen that coming. She had ignored it really, she was annoyed with herself for it. But there was just no getting round the fact that James Potter would always have a thing for Lily Evans. It just went that way. His eyes lit up when they fell on her. She wasn't jealous, but it did frustrate her. Lily didn't like him at all! And here was Alice, pining for his attention. She was desperate. She turned to him and whispered fast,

"I'm joining an order that's fighting against Voldemort."

That got his attention.

He stared at her,

"What d'you mean?"

When Alice had gone up to Frank the other day and demanded that she be somehow included she was slightly taken aback by how quickly, even eagerly, he gave in and let her. But he had begged her that she tell no-one. And there she was…talking for a full ten minutes with James about everything. Every single detail. But he was hooked, he hung on every word. And it was so nice for a change!

When she'd finished he gazed into the distance a while.

"Frank you say?"  
"Yes, but please don't tell him I said anything! He'll know its me and I said I wouldn't."

James nodded slowly, and then suddenly, much to Alice's disappointment, stood up,

"I have to go somewhere."

He didn't even say goodbye. Glumly she crossed her legs on the wall where she sat, preparing herself to sulk for a few moments, when Frank placed himself in front of her. He didn't look angry, but he was looking directly at her. It suddenly struck her how young she felt.

Minutes went by. He didn't say anything. She didn't say anything. They just looked.

Then Frank sighed, looking away, "It's ok. I knew his parents. If they weren't on the right side then no-one is. And he has reason to want to be in it I guess." Frank looked disappointed. In her?

"I'm so sorry Frank…I don't know why I said it I just…" she floundered for an answer, feeling herself go a little pink. He shrugged,

"Hey you…you obviously like him right? Well, he's a good catch." Frank was smiling gently at her, but something in his eyes made her feel a little sad.

"Um…I guess…I, don't think he likes me though," she laughed nervously.

Frank's eyes widened, "You? No he will. Trust me."

Alice shook her head, "If you heard any of that conversation you'll know he really doesn't. I don't know why I'm bothering to be honest."  
Frank frowned, which made Alice almost smile. He had one of those faces that even when frowning he still looked kind. "Don't waste time on him then. There are tonnes of men who would have you." He sounded so sincere Alice giggled, "What makes you so sure?"

Frank shrugged, his dark eyes crinkling as he smiled warmly, "I just know when I meet a lovely girl." Alice was so taken aback she giggled, somewhat nervously, again, "You're... making fun of me?"

He shook his head, looking entirely serious, "No. I mean it." He held her gaze and then, blushing slightly, he stood up and waved at her before walking away. Alice stared after him feeling slightly dazed.

* * *

"James Potter. Well, this is a surprise. I've been rather impressed with how, even as Head boy, you've managed to avoid me all year."

Dumbledore sat quite calmly, observing him over his half-moon spectacles, despite the fact James had slammed the door open by way of an entry. James planted himself firmly before his headmasters desk. He felt hot anger bubbling in his stomach, but he refused to let it show. Now he needed to be cold. Very cold.

"I asked. At the beginning of the year I asked you if there was anything that would help me, help me avenge them. You said no. You lied." There was a few moments silence whilst Dumbledore simply sat looking at him. James worked hard at controlling himself.

Finally he sighed, "James, before we can go any further, I'm afraid I need to know who told you this. It is of utmost urgency that I know."

The rage that festered inside him had to be forced down even further, "Frank."

Dumbledore nodded in relief. "Yes, he had permission to do so. I find it odd he chose you though I must -"

"Why didn't you tell me?" James interrupted sharply, "I begged you to help me. I actually begged."

Dumbledore looked at him patiently, "I've hardly needed to help you James. I've got my own friends at the ministry you know, as well as you. They inform me that they couldn't say no where I did. They've been sending you information since the start of the year and judging by how late you stay awake, I'd say you've been studying them for some time now. Judging by the information you've requested recently it seems you've also been interpreting the information with some skill. They're quite impressed you know."

"Keeping an eye on me?" James said quietly, very quietly.

Again he sighed, "James however you smile to other people, something else you do skilfully I might add, you lost your parents this year, and it hurt you greatly. They had ever right to say I should 'keep an eye on you' should anything happen."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!" James voice bellowed across the room, but he didn't care. Losing all pretence at being patient, Dumbledore sat up straight and looked James straight in the eye.

"You were too young, not to mention too much in shock to be a candidate for such work. Being in the order is dangerous to a level you do not yet understand. I understand you're need to be in it. I even applaud such enthusiasm. But it has high demands for little reward and I will not put any of my students, not even you James, in that kind of position."

James breathing heavily glared at Dumbledore a few moments more, and then left without another word.

* * *

_James stared at her. His eyes were such a curious mix, with soft greens around the edges, and warm browns closer to the middle. She couldn't look away from them. Instead, she ran her fingers through his hair. Strangely soft to touch, she smiled as it swept back...like he'd just been flying... He smiled warmly back at her. No, not just warmly... there was something almost hungry in that look. Placing his hands delicately at her waist he pulled her gently yet firmly against him, and wrapped his arms around her. _

"_Be mine, please?" Locking her fingers in his hair she whispered fiercely, "I've only ever belonged to you." She couldn't wait any more. She pulled his head down...and their lips met. Sensations shot from her mouth right through her body, jolting her, making her move deliberately against him, tighter, nearer...he kissed her with a ferocity she'd only dreamed about. His hands slid up the back of her shirt sending shivers right through her spine. They smoothly moved round until his fingers had hooked on to the front of her skirt. One of his hands started to slide with tantalising slowness gently down... his fingers causing a throb, almost an ache, of anticipation somewhere deep in - _

"Lily!"

Lily gave sudden start and looked quickly round, blushing furiously.

"What?"

"We said you're name like three times!" Alice laughed. Lauren nodded, grinning, "Seriously Lily, this year you're day dreaming is becoming worse than ever."

Lily nodded sheepishly, thankful they had not caught on. It had seemed so real she had worried for a moment that it would have been visible to them as well. Inwardly she groaned. For the past few days these dreams, (no, nightmares, they were definitely nightmares – she didn't enjoy them!) had been attacking her non-stop. She was furious with herself. Potter was disgusting, revolting! This could not be happening to her! Sure, the other night had been fun, but that was no reason for this to begin!! Without even so much as her permission, her mind had been creating a shocking, (shocking!) amount of such images, going into deeper and deeper detail, causing her to feel in places that had never so much as stirred. And it was just Potter, she had tried to insert other people in these...scenarios...but they had fallen flat. Without certain qualities, that this annoying Potter boy seemed to posess, they just did not function. And the worst part was, at times she found herself deliberately creating them, delving curiously into this new and fascinating world. Alice was looking at her expectantly. Lily wondered why Alice liked him – he was such a complex sort of boy...Alice would find that distressing she was sure. Guiltily, Lily wondered why she had started trying to find reasons lately for Alice and James not to be together. Somewhere deep in her mind, a little voice tried desperately to reply with an answer she could not yet face. She firmly pushed thoughts of Potter, (and his roaming hands), out of her mind.

"What is it?"

Alice looked...excited... She whispered something that even put James out of Lily's mind for a while.

"The schools alive with gossip. Somebodies parents have found out, and now all these parents are worried something furious! They want him out – somebody, (in our year!) is actually a werewolf, and they're getting expelled today!"


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius and Peter, along with Lily, Lauren and Alice were settled around James' room waiting for him to return, talking seriously amongst themselves whilst the rest of the school buzzed with gossip.

Lily felt strange. The room managed to make her feel both completely at home and very uneasy at the same time. At home, because there was something almost familiar about this room... books on the shelf that she'd read, music she also listened too, a general cluttered look, (although not quite as bad as hers); but uneasy because it suddenly became all too clear just how much they had in common. She had known this, she supposed; being his friend had certainly uncovered that they had these similar interests. But now it was like they were laid out before her, and it seemed so glaringly obvious she wondered why it had not struck her before.

The worst part of the room though, by far, was the smell. It didn't smell bad. Worse. It smelled like him. And it alarmed her beyond words that not only could she identify it, but she also felt.. at home with it...among other feelings...

Interrupting their conversations, James entered the room swiftly.

"It's not good, the whole schools talking about it."

Feeling rather intensely embarrassed at the number of vivid images James seemed to inspire just by walking through the door, Lily swallowed her own questions and waited for the others to speak instead.

"So what's happening?"

"He's not getting expelled, of course."

Sirius sighed, "Well what d'you say 'its not good' for, Prongs? He's going to be fine."

Lily, standing safely away from the bed that Sirius and Alice were sat so casually on, (she could only imagine how it smelled over there), rolled her eyes, "Everyone knows. And if they don't know exactly who, it's not really too difficult to work out. He's right; it isn't good at all." James looked at her, but as usual of late she couldn't quite bring herself to look back... not without blushing furiously.

Sirius waved the information away, "Lauren and Alice were fine when they found out, and everyone knows Remus is alright. They've known him for 7 years! It'll be just like he's got some obscure period he needs to excuse himself for..."

"Lovely comparison Sirius," said Lauren drily, "But until I knew it was Remus, if I'm perfectly honest, I was horrified -"

"What?"

"No you weren't-"

"Yes I was," Lauren continued simply, "The general knowledge about werewolves is that they are vicious. I was half expecting to suddenly notice some yellow eyed, hairy pupil that I'd somehow managed to overlook. The fact that I'd been around one disgusted me at the time."

There was a silence then, until Alice sighed, "I suppose I felt similar... It's awful really, I feel so bad! I mean it's Remus! He's lovely, and yet he's that as well... But thinking about how I felt, I think the rest of the school are going to have a hard time seeing it our way unless they know him very well. It's sad really."

* * *

Lauren walked in silence with her two best friends through the castle, sighing loudly. Neither of them took any notice. They were coming back from lunch, which had been just as silent as this walk. She couldn't figure out what was wrong with them! Alice seemed to be in a complete daze and Lily, (when she forgot to appear annoyingly cheerful) often looked overwhelmingly confused and upset. When she thought no-one was looking, sometimes she would shake her head vigorously, as if to shake out whatever thought could have distressed her. Lauren was beginning to think she was the only sane one left...

As they walked by the entrance of the castle, Lauren spotted James Potter lounging idly against a wall, looking bored. She realised then that she hadn't seen anything of him at all since the day they had been in his room. Over a week ago now.

"Hey James," she called, "Where's the rest of you?"

Surreptitiously, Lauren peeked at her friend's reactions to James sudden appearance. She was extremely confused to note that neither was a reaction she could have guessed. For the first time in ages Alice didn't even so much as giggle for him. She simply smiled. Briefly and politely. And Lily... Lily gave a start, as though she'd just been shocked with a wand, and then made some weird attempt to smile at the floor. Lauren could practically feel the heat coming from her cheeks.

"The rest of me?" James gave a dry smile, "You think we're joined at the hip?"

Lauren shrugged, still wondering at her friends unnatural behaviour "Something like that. Where are they then?"

James' eyes snapped back to Lauren from where they had been straying...well something hadn't changed it was good to see. He was still very much in love with Lily. Oddly, she felt herself feeling vaguely jealous. Not because it was James, but because he adored Lily with what seemed an everlasting devotion. She had received no such attention so far this year...and in all honesty Lily received much. It almost angered her that Lily had disregarded the boy so in love with her for so long, no matter how he had behaved in the past.

"Sirius is actually doing some homework for once on threat of expulsion," James chuckled cheerfully...and Lauren felt herself relaxing when he did. He was charming; she supposed she couldn't deny him that.

"Peter's with him. He wanted the excuse for Sirius to help him with homework." James did not mention Remus.

"So you aren't going to Hogsmeade I take it?"

James shrugged, "Not fussed either way."

Lauren only just managed to stop from grinning – she'd just had an idea.

"Well...you could come with us, I was just asking these two whether we should or not."

James ears seemed to perk up visibly at the invitation. His eyes flickered from Lauren to Lily almost too quickly to notice. He ran a hand through his hair, ruffling it up as usual and casually replied, "Well yeah...if you're offering..."

Alice, who suddenly seemed to have realised what was going on, turned to the other two, "Erm... I actually...I won't be able to go I don't think, I'll see you all when you get back?" This was going to be easy; James was looking even more interested...

"Aaaw, why?"

Alice looked flustered for a moment, "Oh...you know...Mcgonagall's essay...I never did it... You go on though." She was lying. Lauren had done it with her last week and was now rather suspicious... but desperate times...

"Oh!! Crap! I haven't done Flitwick's essay either... But I really need to get some things..." Feigning her best look of apologetic need she turned to her best friend, "Lily, so sorry, but I know you've done your homework, could you pleeeease get it for me? I really need this stuff..."

Lily stared at her; she looked halfway between shocked and furious. She knew exactly what Lauren was doing and was not only completely taken aback by it, but was trapped – she could say nothing in front of James. Lauren didn't care, she simply waited patiently.

After a rather tense pause, in which James didn't even bother to conceal how closely he was paying attention to Lily, she finally nodded. "Sure, I'll get it for you."

Lauren turned to James, "James, I know it won't be very interesting just getting my stuff for me but would you still go? I don't want her walking around by herself..."

For a moment, he didn't answer. He was looking directly at Lily, a strange mixture of emotions seeming to play across his features. And then he was himself again. He shrugged and smiled, "Sure why not. Shall we, Evans?"

Lauren wanted to laugh at how easy that had been. She made up a few things for Lily to get her from Hogsmeade and as quickly as possible, took a wary looking Alice off back to the common room.

* * *

James Potter could not believe his luck. Did that really just happen? Never, (never!) had he had a complete day with Lily to himself, and yet here it was, pre-made. He had never overly liked Lauren, but he felt suddenly rather warm to her, and made a promise to himself to take more notice of her in future. James had been nothing but bitter for days, but as Lily walked towards him, immediately James' mind started zooming with ideas about how to entice the woman who had rejected him for so long.

The first were the most unhelpful, ones linked largely to his penis and little more. Not much better ones followed; tacky thoughts of how to immediately win her over with charming words and smiles. He almost laughed at the idea... This was Lily, not some random girl he was trying to pull. It would take a great deal more for her. He thought back to the last time he had actually got it right with Lily...when he had taken her away in the middle of the night and transformed right in front of her. She had been so...impressed. He had never believed such an expression could cross her face when looking at him, but it had. And that gave him the kind of hope he had never dared to have. The problem was she was a difficult person to understand. The week following that she had been so distant. She had actually seemed awkward around him. He tried to assess the situation now, but her face was impossible to read.

James sighed and decided he was being stupid – just do it.

He grabbed her hand and she gave a start, but before she could snatch her hand back he was walking her briskly to Hogsmeade,

"What -"

"Just showing you Hogsmeade." He grinned at her.

"What??"

"I'm just showing you some places you probably haven't been before...I know the village pretty well...I thought you might like to..." He shrugged innocently. She frowned slightly and stopped walking abruptly, but he almost grinned again; her eyes had suddenly lit up with a certain interest.

"Like where?" Her voice sounded strange...curiosity tinged it.

He smiled, "Let me show you." There was an odd moment then, they stood looking at one another, their forgotten hands still clasped together. But he had been paying attention the other night, she liked to be surprised. Not only that, she liked to be surprised with adventure. Something he'd spent years finding around Hogwarts. So, it didn't surprise him too much, when she shrugged awkwardly and sighed,

"If you must...it had better not be a waste of time though, and make sure we get Lauren the stuff she wanted." He nodded earnestly, and they set off again, James still keeping a brisk pace, and trying not to grin too dementedly. It was worrying the level of control Lily seemed to have over his happiness. But, he realised, feeling the warmth of her hand in his, he didn't really care. He rather desperately hoped that she might though...


	10. Chapter 10

Lily had never been one for stealing, not even for something as small as gum, and yet somehow not only had James smoothly talked her into the idea, she had quite happily, gleefully in fact, assisted in it, from the complicated bewitching of spells that stopped robbery, to slyly putting the gum in her pocket, to the running madly out of the shop when after all the bewitching the assistant had seen them anyway. And so this was how she found herself giggling, her cheeks pink from running, in the first shop they had dived into upon reaching a corner. James Potter, who had been watching her laugh with a rather large grin, pulled some gum out of his pockets once she had caught her breath, "What flavours you get, Evans? I managed Self-centred Strawberry, my favourite for future reference." Lily gave a small laugh,

"If you're nice to me this year I may just buy you one for your next birthday. I managed Rebel Raspberry though, a much greater feat I feel, and reflective of my many skills as a thief."

"I'm always nice! And your skills?" James put on a deliberately patronising face and chuckled pompously, "I believe I was the mastermind behind the theft in question, lets not get ahead of ourselves." Lily playfully flicked him on the shoulder, to which he over-reacted greatly, clasping his shoulder as though wounded in battle. Something caught her eye as he did though, she grabbed his wrist and gasped,

"It's half past five! We're meant to have gone back by now!"

"You could have asked for the time you know."

Lily lowered his hand smiling at him, "I didn't feel like it, Potter."

He grinned back at her, his eyes glinting mischievously,

"Wanna book before we go?"

Lily blinked. James had been doing things like this all day, suddenly shifting topic, and throwing her off balance...in all honesty, she had to admit to herself he managed to do that anyway, and as a result she had spent the day in a strange kind of daze.

"What, steal one?"

"No, fool. I'm offering to buy you a book," He gave a little laugh, as though she should have expected this and was missing something.

Lily frowned, "Buy me one? Why would you do that?"

"So you can be in my debt," he said simply.

"Well, with pleasure."

For a moment James looked at her, startled, and a rather curious grin grew across his face, "With pleasure, eh?"

Simply nodding and shrugging as though she had intended to say that, she could feel the heat spreading through her cheeks. _With pleasure...?_

And so without saying anything further, James walked off. She stood still, trying to calm down. She felt so flustered! All that running perhaps...

"How would you like this?" James was holding up a large, leather bound book with gold letters spidering across it, 'Hollows Way'

"What is it?"

James grinned, "Thought you might not know it. But it really is essential as a person of magic to have read it I believe. Some of the finest of our literature. It's got the kind of plots I would presume you like."

"What sort of plots do I like then?"

James simply looked at her, but she felt herself shift slightly all the same.

He grinned, "Love conquers all type stuff."

"Cheesy ones?" she laughed.

"No, brilliant ones! Honestly, if you are going to read cheese, you read these. Plus they have interesting characters, not your average heroes and heroins..."

And that was how Lily found herself holding a large new book to herself as James and she walked back towards the castle.

Despite the serious conversation they were now having about Remus, Lily felt...content. She couldn't quite comprehend the day she had just had. James had taken her everywhere; all these tiny shops she hadn't even known had existed, but all filled with the most fantastic objects. And, though it scared her slightly to admit it, he had been wonderful company. Some of the best in fact...

"It just irritates me you know?" James was telling her now, "Remus has always seemed the oldest out of us, like if we're annoyed or...moping around or something, he just says some stuff and we're ok. He explains it. But how am I supposed to return the favour? Explain him out of this?"

"You don't have to do anything, and I'm sure he doesn't expect you to. Especially with how he's feeling. Just be there. That is all that is required of you. As long as the three of you are still there when all is said and done he will be ok. Maybe not right now, but like you said before, it's not something you can just get over. He has to come to accept it."

James nodded, "S'pose you're right. It -" He stopped speaking and sighed, looking back towards Hogsmeade, "Lily, we didn't get Lauren's things."

Lily, who had a very strong suspicion there had been no real need of such things shrugged, "It doesn't matter, I'll apologise, she'll be fine."

"Nah, I feel like I should get them for her."

It was an odd sentence, and Lily felt an uncomfortable squirm as he said it. "What do you mean you feel like you should? I'll get them for her some other time."

James shrugged, "Just think we should." Suddenly he grinned, "Want to go back there and have some dinner? I know this great place."

"Um...the gate is locked now? We can't..."

James shook his head, laughing, "Lily, come on. We're not going to use the gate. You should know that much about me."

But Lily, as much as she was interested, didn't feel like going.

"No, lets just go back."

His face fell slightly, "Aw, come on, it'll be fun!"

"No it's fine, it's dark nearly and it's pretty cold. Lets just go."

Lily started walking but James lingered, "Lily come on, please?"

"Well... what would we be going for?"

James looked confused, "what I just said?"

"The stuff for Lauren you mean?"

He considered, "Yes. Well, if I'm perfectly honest, the dinner's the bigger attraction but-"

"Fine lets go."

"What?"

"I said lets go! Now move, Potter!"

James grinned bemusedly, "If you wish," he reached into his bag and pulled out the invisibility cloak, "We should get out via the Whomping Willow methinks."

* * *

"Psst, Frank!" Frank turned to find his lips suddenly meet with someone else's. His hands reached around her immediately and he felt the soft hair and the fairly curvy figure he had become so fond of. After a long while she leaned back and eyes the colour of deep ocean filled his vision. He smiled, "You finally got away then?"

"I did..." she blushed, "For you I did."

He kissed her gently, "You're lovely, do you know that Alice?"

* * *

"Remus, she wants to talk to you, you know. She's pretty fit as well! Always liked you for some reason," Sirius chuckled, "Why not go down and talk to her? She likes this whole dangerous werewolf thing, thinks it gives you a bit of an edge!"

Remus ignored him. Sirius knew very well he wouldn't. Something was distracting him besides, a figure leaving the grounds. They were moving as though not wanting to be seen. Strange, Frank usually escorted such visitors from the premises personally...where was he...

"Remus?"

The man had already, somehow, managed to get past the locked gate. Who was he?

"Remus, I know your sulking but are you going to speak-"

"I'm not sulking!"

Sirius gave him a wry smile, "What would you call it then?"

Remus sighed and Sirius looked at him sternly, "You are above and beyond these critical people my friend...its why you ended up being permitted my company."

Remus almost laughed, "How privileged I do feel."

"Now...you coming to dinner with me and the others tonight?"

He sighed again, and then turned to look at Sirius, who grinned rather wickedly at him.

"Fine." Sirius whooped and made a triumphant gesture, "The wolf is coming out of its den!"

Remus actually felt his mouth curve in a slight smile, "Perhaps. Shall we go find James?" Remus didn't think he would be entirely able to face all these people if James wasn't there as well...

"Yes! Lets go at once," Sirius enthusiastically walked to the door, "Haven't seen him all day, you got any idea where he might be?"

* * *

"He will not serve you."

"Whatever. Just watch me."

"Your arrogance never fails to astound me."

"That I should have such power as to be able to shock you every time we meet says something admirable about me, don't you agree?"

Lily laughed derisively at him and had to make effort not to let it turn into an uncontrollable giggle. She was feeling very strange tonight. She kept having bouts of giddiness for no apparent reason...most unnerving.

They sat for ages; eating, laughing and drinking, (non-alcoholic beverages; Lily couldn't stop teasing him about it). She thought about how strange it was - despite how on edge she felt, how light-headed and giddy she was, it was just so _easy_ to talk to him. The kind of ease that came with 10 years of friendship not mere months, if that. The kind of ease that made it rather obvious to her how oddly...alone she had felt before this. She'd just never managed it, sharing so much of herself with someone before. It felt strange to her, but it was...a relief. Like she'd been tensed up without realising and now she wasn't.

As he smiled at her while she was trying to explain her fussy mother to him, Lily was feeling so...good-natured, that she allowed a few thoughts to slip through that would otherwise remain hidden... he had nice eyes, for instance. And it did look rather good when he rumpled his hair up like that, she refrained from giggling at the five or sixth time he did it...not to mention that wide grin...warmth just seemed to radiate from it.

And that was it. That one slip up right then as she laughed with him. It just sort of happened to her. She was just so relaxed, she'd spent all day just being herself; a novelty. The blocks she had kept in place all because she was afraid of this, petrified even, suddenly seemed stupid - childish even. She was convinced it was entirely his fault, but she couldn't possibly be angry at him as she once had because she finally allowed herself to realise what the hell it was.

She liked him. More than that. It felt more ingrained in her than some passing crush... he was too much like her. He seemed to know too much of her, and empathise too well. And vice versa...he was, (it was the only way she could describe it) part of her. Permanently. And knowing this, rather than feeling shocked or embarrassed or even horrified as she might have once, sitting here with him, she could feel nothing but... happy about it.

Lily blinked all of sudden. In the time it had taken for her to allow this revelation to sink in, James had stopped talking. She was staring...no, she was _gazing_ at him whilst he looked bemusedly back. She could feel herself beginning to blush a furious red, and panicking she looked down, taking a shaky sip of her drink.

Thinking of any way she could cover up the moment she laughed nervously, "Sorry I was off in a world of my own, you were saying -"

She looked up to find James still looking at her, a curious expression on his face. He leaned a little further in and her breathing seemed to stop.

"Lily," he murmured, and then hesitated, leaning back again slightly. There was a pause.

"You know," he began again, his voice just as quiet but it shook a little, "Sometimes, it almost seems like you could... like me."

There was little doubt as to what he meant by 'like'.

"Right m'dears, sorry to bother you but we're closing now. Can't be too late these days you know."

Both Lily and James had jumped when the waitress arrived, breaking their gaze, hastily grabbing for money to pay and getting ready to leave. They didn't make eye contact at all but Lily was extremely aware of what had happened. She knew that once they were outside and on their own again, she would have to answer somehow. Not because he would demand it, but because...she wanted to. The thought was so strange to her – that whole exchange had lasted barely a minute, and yet here she was ready to admit to him that she... _what would she say_...

But she didn't have the chance, they got outside and James threw the cloak immediately over the both of them.

"What-"

"Ssh! I know that man. He's...he's not on our side."

Lily watched as a man with a slow, heavy walk appeared outside the three broomsticks. So he was on Voldemorts side...? Lily looked up at James, James was watching the man with an incredibly intense look in his eyes. Her mind lingered on the idea that she only had so much courage to say what she wanted to say to James...but the moment seemed past now.

"Well lets follow him then."

"Follow him?" James looked at her curiously, his eyes searching her face.

"Yes. Quickly."

He nodded and they both hurried after him.

The man went directly to a dustier tavern nearer the edge of town. It seemed to be closed but the stranger pushed open an unlocked door. James hesitated and Lily looked at him. There was more than curiosity or suspicion in his eyes...there was a real need there. And so she said, "Lets go nearer."


	11. Chapter 11

James breathed as little as he could, he was astounded they had got in that door unnoticed, and even more so that they had actually managed to creep nearer to two men at the end of the small and dingy pub. They had lit no lights, but James knew both their faces well. He had studied them, looked over their history, their crimes. They were two men wanted very much by the ministry but known to very few outside of it. They had dangerous holds over people so he had gathered. Instinctively, he put his arm around Lily's waist and pulled her closer to him. If these men even so much as breathed on her he would kill them both. He wished he knew if it was they who had killed his parents...

Lily had barely noticed his arm, she was watching the two men intently. She was always more brave, more calm in the face of danger than he expected. Even here it made him smile a little. Until, that is, one of the men began to speak, having just lit a rather large cigar.

"Bloody useless," he grunted, his voice sounded coarse and raspy, like it wasn't used to speaking, "Gaurds from the ministry my arse. Dint see feck all. Slipped in, slipped out easy as."

"He really wasn't there?" The other, a taller, slimmer man had a calm, smooth voice. It would almost sound friendly if you could forget who he was.

"Told ya. No. Looked feckin all bloody castle ova. Not a peep."

"He needs to be dealt with and fast, you know our orders. Kill him. Simple orders, so hurry up."

"Why tho'? E's just a boy...whys he so import'nt?"

The other sighed in a bored sort of way, "Do you never listen. He's been finding out too much, pulling our plans together without even realising judging by what he's been requesting from the ministry. He's even looking at information from elsewhere, and this all from his bedroom. What were to happen if somebody significant were actually to see these ideas of his...what if he himself decided to take a more active role against us? He's clever, I'll grant him that, but too much like his filthy parents for us to attempt to turn him. Shame really, he could replace you perhaps." The heavier man grunted.

"Well, tha's as may be, but he's more trouble than e's worth if ya ask me, bloody James fucking potter."

James had obviously cottoned on rather early in the conversation as to whom they were talking about. Lily on the other hand stiffened against him. She removed his arm from around her and James watched, dumbfounded, as Lily calmly stepped out from underneath the cloak and faster than light shot a stunning curse first at the taller one, then at the heavier. Both had been too taken aback to do more than blink.

"Lily!"

She turned calmly, frowning at him, "They are planning to kill you, did you not hear?"

James pulled the cloak off and stared at her, "Of course I heard! I even knew who they were on about before they said so! But I did not step out and stun them both at the risk of killing myself!! And you for that matter!!"

She rolled her eyes, "I was fast enough. Not as fast as the great Potter perhaps...but close enough."

James threw his hands up in agitation and walked briskly over to the bodies.

"More could be on their way, we need to get these moved."

"Where?"

"You tell me, Evans."

She folded her arms underneath her breasts and arched an eyebrow, "I've just caught two people who I presume are wanted. I hardly think this is the time to be childish."

James sighed, "Hogs head then. We'll levitate them there under the cloak, Dumbledore's brother will know what to do with them."

"And our being out of school?"

"Don't need to mention it, we'll just knock and...leave an anonymous note I guess?"

After seeing Dumbledore's brother look down at their note, grunt in disgust and wave both bodies inside, they walked back in silence up to the castle. James' mind was rather preoccupied with what he had just seen, putting pieces together and trying to see what he could know that would merit assassination...

Interupting his thoughts, Lily stopped walking then and said rather hesitantly, "James?"

He took a moment to appreciate how she called him James, and not Potter. "Yeah?"

"Why would you be figuring out what I can only presume are death eater plots?"

Well, since she'd asked, he told her what he'd told no-one all year.

"I'm looking for who it was exactly that killed my parents and what they were killed for. It wasn't Voldemort, although it was on his orders, and looking at some of this stuff I've got sort of pulled into the information...managed to figure out a lot of other stuff they've been up too...accept what I want obviously."

Lily didn't say anything for a long time until he felt her hand rest softly against his arm and she looked directly at him, "I understand that you probably feel like its your task alone to do but...if you wanted me too... I could help you."

They were both quiet awhile as Lily looked up at him seriously. He couldn't really speak – how do you say that something meant so much to you...when it means _that_ much to you. She looked so lovely... and before he could stop himself, he had leaned in and kissed her.

He heard her shocked intake of breath as he had moved so quickly towards her but he soon realised, a feeling of something beyond happiness, that beyond all odds... Lily was actually kissing him back.

And he couldn't help it – he pulled her in tightly, wrapping his arms completely around her and felt himself begin to kiss her so thoroughly that only mere seconds had past when his breath began to shorten... his skin tingled like crazy as she reached up and snaked her arms around his neck, tangling her delicate fingers in his hair, she actually moved even closer to him if that was possible, pressing herself against him.

"WHAT ARE YOU BOTH STILL DOING OUT HERE!!" With a gasp and a few expletives, they jumped apart looking up at an extremely agitated professor Mcgonagall.

"H-hey," James cleared his throat and tried again, "Professor we were just on our way back in, we only went for a quick walk around the grounds."

"Oh, quite. You don't really seem to have got much walking done though do you?" She frowned at Lily, "And you Miss Evans, letting Potter lead you around I think you could be just a little more responsible, don't you?"

She nodded awkwardly looking at the ground, trying to straighten her hair out discreetly which seemed to have been messed up by him more than he had realised.

"Now, I'm in a good mood and I am going to let this slide but if I even see so much as a toe out on the grounds after hours you'll be in detention till the end of the year do I make myself clear?"

She was doing her stern face, James noted grumpily, so he simply nodded like Lily, keen to get away from the professor.

And then, suddenly she smiled, rather slyly too... "Although, I am pleased to see the head boy and head girl finally making efforts to...get to know one another..." James scowled darkly, Mcgonagall was looking all too pleased with herself.

"Follow me in then."

They walked silently after her. James stole a few glances at Lily, but her hair had swung forward obscuring her face from his vision...what the hell was going through her mind??

He waited as patiently as he could for Mcgonagall to leave them but when they reached the entrance hall she turned to Lily, "Now miss Evans, I know its getting a bit late but I do have something I would like to discuss to do with your duties today, it won't take long."

Lily nodded, "Sure, Professor." Mcgonagall frowned once more at James then beckoned Lily to follow. James was left standing alone by the doors.

James dragged his feet back to the common room. In part it was because his mind was so full of the evening he had just had he couldn't concentrate much on walking, another part of him was simply hoping Lily would catch up the whole way. As he reached the portrait hole he realised it was probably going to be a while so he decided to stay up and wait for her there. He needed a moment to calm down anyway – he could barely believe it had happened... kissing Lily!!

What did this even mean...would she actually go out with him? He had wanted her so _long_... Stuck in this strangely elated and confused moment he had not noticed when his friends called his name. But there they were. Cursing mentally, knowing he wouldn't be able to talk to Lily whilst his friends were here, he walked towards them.

"Where have you been, Prongs? We spent most of the night looking for you, you know. Remus was going to go down to dinner but he chickened out in the end..."

Remus scowled at Sirius, "I didn't! I was just fed up and I couldn't be bothered. I'll go tomorrow all right??"

Sirius rolled his eyes and then looked back at James,

"So, where were you?" The three of them looked at him expectantly, Peter leaning forward slightly, anticipating some good gossip perhaps. He stared back at them until they started to frown...he didn't want to tell them about Lily just yet...because if he did they would get happy about it and get his hopes up, and then it would be all the more humiliating and upsetting if she started to avoid him...

He told them about the only other thing that was on his mind,

"I've got something to tell you all..." And so, finally, he told his friends what he had been up too all year. Remus' face looked serious and concerned, Peter looked almost in awe, Sirius...Sirius' face was blank, not even a flicker as James made out that he'd sneaked out to Hogsmeade late this evening to run an errand and had simply run into the death eaters. They were all three silent when he had finished.

"Well at least you got rid of those particular people then..." Remus murmured finally.

"I can't believe you just stepped out from under your cloak and stunned them...that could have been close!"

James shrugged at Peter, "Yeah I know, I dunno what made me do it. Just annoyed with them."

"Peter's right though, that could've been close, more might've been on the way even..."

James just shrugged again and looked at Sirius – he still hadn't said anything.

"Sirius?"

Sirius looked directly at James and said in a flat voice, "Why didn't you tell us what you were up to?"

James thought about it...and reluctantly, he shrugged again...he honestly didn't have an answer.

Sirius frowned, "But, we could've helped you... me especially...what, you don't think I cared about them as much? They took me in every single summer, without complaint. I would have done everything I could if I'd known what you were up to."

"I-I know you would. I dunno why I didn't tell you I just...just didn't."

There was a rather tense moment in which Sirius frowned at James, James looked apologetic and Remus and Peter looked anxiously between the two of them.

"Well fine could we at least help now?"

James looked closely at him...he wasn't sure how he felt about it. But this seemed important to Sirius so he simply nodded and said, "Of course." Sirius nodded back as though he had expected no less.

"Right, well, I'll be off to bed then. Remus, remember you're coming to dinner tomorrow." Remus grimaced back. Peter got up and said goodnight as well and after a moment so did Remus,

"You coming?"

James shook his head, "Just gonna stay here for a while."

Remus nodded awkwardly, frowning, as though confused at James for some reason.

"Well, goodnight then,"

"Yea, see you," James settled into the chair and waited for Lily. Thinking about it, he realised it wasn't just to talk to her about earlier that he wanted to see her...he just wanted her company, whatever the circumstances.

* * *

Lily reached the portrait hole, the anxiety eating at her...

Had he just kissed her to kiss her...or did he want something more...he hadn't asked her out in ages! Did that mean he had moved on, or had he just recently stopped trying...but my God that was a good kiss! The kind that made her daydreams seem frail in comparison...did she really actually care if he didn't want to go out with her...she thought she could actually be happy with just being with him as long as she had him in some form...she flinched at the thought – she was actually willing to be his plaything!! She really did think she liked him a whole lot more than even she knew...but she did only allow herself to realise this a short while ago...its no wonder her head was all over the place!! She did want to go out with him though, she had known that for rather a long time, just not admitted it... And then for him to kiss her so soon after finally allowing the realisation to come to the surface, it had been so fast...but really, really good! Damn that Mcgonagall!! She had kept smirking throughout their conversation, which did not help Lily's mood...what if he hadn't liked the kiss as much as her – in all honesty that kiss was without a doubt better than anything she could have even thought of having, never mind the kisses she'd actually had, which seemed to pale dramatically in comparison to his...but he'd had a few kisses, (amongst other activities) as well, what if she had just been shit compared to them...a few of the girls she knew had been fairly experienced at that sort of thing...not Alice..but oh God what if Alice was a better kisser than she was!! Well...she had been drunk and so was he, maybe he didn't remember? She liked him so much – would he ask her out?? If only!! But she shouldn't allow herself to hope like -

"Are you going to give me the password or stand there fretting all night?!"

Lily jumped, "Oh, um, Diligrout."

"Quite right." Before Lily could wonder any more she had stepped through the portrait hole and there was James getting out of his chair and looking directly at her. He had been waiting for her...

There was a short pause as the portrait closed behind her. The common room was empty but for him. He seemed to fill it somehow.

"Hi,"

She gulped, "Hello..."

There was another pause and then he moved a little closer, something intense about his hazel eyes.

"You never did respond to what I said earlier," he said quietly.

Lily began to panic feeling annoyed...this meant she had to say how she felt first, and in all honesty now the moment had arrived she was too much of a coward to do it, so instead she said,

"Why did you...do that? You haven't shown any interest in that sort of thing all year. You usually ask me out a lot but you didn't once this year, so what, did you just want to pull me and then leave it? Or do you actually like me? And what are you even -"

Lily stopped talking abruptly realising she'd interrogated him a little.

James was frowning slightly. He seemed to be a little angry; his tone sounded rather resentful, "I didn't ask you out this year because, quite frankly, I'd heard 'I'd rather role my face in dragon dung' too many times. Lets just say I didn't feel like being rejected so much this year. And as for just pulling you..." he suddenly marched right up to her, his words coming out in a quiet rush, "It's you Lily. I could never just pull you. What, you think after five or six years I suddenly decide to move on and forget it?? Now, I asked first," he sighed rather frustratedly, "Just...tell me what you think..."

Lily had to pause for a bit, his face was rather close to hers and it seemed to obscure her line of thinking...it was a nice face and his eyes still had that strange, raw intensity about them.

"I...I like you," she mumbled. He stepped even closer and breathed, "what?"

Lily swallowed and said a little louder, "I-I really like you, James."

And James moved even nearer, he was so close she simply had to tilt her head to kiss him.

"Go out with me, Lily"

Lily felt the relief wash through her as she finally heard those words again. She realised she'd missed them in an odd way. And so she gave him a small smile and nodded, "Ok."

At first he stared at her, as though not quite understanding. And then James Potter grinned triumphantly, as arrogant as ever, but instead of annoying her she found herself giggling. At odds with the confidence practically oozing out of him now, his arms stretched tentatively out and he placed his hands gently at her waist. Lily reached up instinctively, curling her arms around his neck.

"So... you're my boyfriend now?"

James actually giggled a little as well, "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Well...cool." James lowered his head a little, stopping to gauge her reaction, but apparently there was nothing hesitant about her face because his lips met hers eagerly... and passionately. All thought got lost.


	12. Chapter 12

Sirius Black couldn't stop grinning. He and James had just spent the most normal hour together in what felt like decades. His best friend, his brother, seemed happier than ever. And even though he didn't know the reason, he didn't want to question it.

With everyone Sirius knew, he was always completely himself – saying what he wanted, when he wanted to. But when James was being all mysteriously weird and tricky like he had been the past few months, (not that James let it show easily – master of disguise, was James), it was one of the few moments in Sirius' life when he would feel... hesitation. Like he should step lightly. James was, after all, the most important person to him. No question.

Stuck in Mcgonagalls lesson however, James had covertly suggested they antagonise her. Sirius was so taken aback by the smirk on James' face, that had been missing for so long, that he didn't even bother asking why. Together they were making life very frustrating for Mcgonagall. Moving things around, writing additions to the instructions on the board, swapping items around, writing creative things on her back, the politest of which read "Check out my forbidden forest."

James and Sirius had been doing this too long throughout their school career to be easily caught either, but they did refrain from continuing too long into the lesson – Mcgonagall got pretty angry...Completely uncalled for, in Sirius view...

Despite Remus being pretty annoyed with them at the start, whispering to them that they would land themselves in detention till the end of the year, Moony also could not help sniggering after a while, stifling his laughter along with the rest of them. It was the first time Sirius had seen Remus laugh properly since before people found out he was a werewolf. A lot of the younger ones still pointed him out fearfully, (which Sirius took great advantage of, whispering in their ears how if they looked at him too long he was sure to eat them) most were ignoring it, or at least appearing to for which they were all glad. And of course, Wormtail followed in whatever James did, (he worshipped the floor Prongs walked on), and as a result was just as content as him too.

The four of them spent the week together. What especially pleased Sirius was that James had started looking pleased about the fact he had help looking at all the Deatheater crap now. Sirius was impressed with his long time friend; who would have thought he would be so good at figuring out dark wizard plots. But then, he really wasn't too surprised, Prongs was clever as fuck and they had spent years enough plotting, to recognise it on a grand scale like Voldemort. Sirius looked at James, who had lost his parents, and felt disgusted for a little moment that he was related to people who actually supported this shit. Nothing was worth that.

Together they managed to ignore what was happening in the outside world, continuing as normal, but even Sirius felt ...uneasy as he watched the newspapers change...the world become so much more different than even the mess they had all started out with... even, much to people's dismay, the muggle world. In summer, James and Sirius would often enter the muggle world, chat up the muggle girls, go for muggle drinks, drive the motorbike faster than perhaps they should... Sirius did not think such excursions would be so available to them this summer...

But, that aside, Sirius was even in a good enough mood to take up Jess on her offer. Jess, a seriously good looking 6th year from Ravenclaw, had been hinting heavily for rather a long time that she wouldn't object to meeting him in several dark corners. Most of his nights, when he was sure James, Remus and Peter weren't busy of course, he would arrange to meet with her for an hour or so... all in all the meetings weren't too bad... he had started teasing James and Remus about their lack of action, (he wasn't allowed to tease Peter about it, so the other two said). Remus didn't mind, merely insulting Sirius in his lack of an actual girlfriend. James was being weird though, he seemed oddly amused... Sirius felt grumpy about this; he loved jokes, what joke was Prongs keeping to himself??

"Really though, come on, you haven't done anything more than kiss a few girls, and that was a while ago! Apart from that one time when that girl - Steph, was it? - slipped a hand down there when you weren't looking...That was more comical than anything though." Remus and Peter sniggered...they all remembered Steph... James rolled his eyes. He had asked at the time that they forget it...yeah, _that_ was going to happen...

"I mean, even wonderfully polite Remus has managed to do it – not that its that surprising thinking about it...all those animal urges..." The three of them laughed whilst Remus scowled darkly at them,

"Come on. That wasn't me, I've told you all this before."

"It was a bit you though," James said fairly, chuckling slightly "Nobody impersonated you or anything... Not that anyone could imitate you that night...my God, d'you remember her practically swooning afterwards?!? And the screaming!!"

"What's so funny?" They all looked up, (Remus, in dread), at Lily, who was standing smiling easily at them all. She was another one who had cheered up. It was weird, she had been quite nice to James over the week, not overly nice, but nice enough. Sirius opinion of her had improved a lot as a result. "Oh, the funniest -"

"HEY! Come on, you said no-one. Please, just don't-"

"Oh wait, what is it?" Lily interrupted, smiling curiously, "What did you do?"

Remus shook his head pleadingly at James, who seemed to be holding in a large grin, and then turned, with a hopeless look, to Sirius. Sirius delivered the most wicked grin he could manage.

"A long while ago, Lily, the summer after 5th year,"

Remus groaned and hid behind his book. James and Peter sat up as though listening to a bed time story. Lily grinned, settling comfortably on the arm of James chair. It was strange how normal it was to have her there.

Sirius adopted a kindly tone, smiling condescendingly and began his story

"Well, you remember Remus back then. Always the responsible one, just made into a prefect. Always so polite in an effort to make up for those slightly... wolfish habits of his... Well we decided he needed a bit of a break. Bless him. We took him out to a muggle pub. There was a group of rather lovely ladies which we didn't hesitate to sit with-" Lily rolled her eyes, "and soon enough we had charmed them into joining us for the evening. Not literally, of course. We're not those sorts of boys." Lily laughed sceptically while James and Peter grinned broadly, "Anyway, bless his furry behind, Remus was soon too drunk to even remember his own name. And I'd never seen him so confident, Lily, let me tell you. You might have believed he was me or James, how arrogantly he was behaving. Scallywag," Sirius fondly sent a patronising smile Moony's way. He stuck a finger up at him, to which Sirius tutted, shaking his head and smiling. "Silly. Now, one particular lady seemed verrry interested in what Remus had to say. Now, I personally, have never seen such shocking and underhanded behaviour in the whole of my innocent existence...but we all know how compassionate and empathetic he is – he started using this as a technique!! That's right Lily," he nodded gravely, as Lily laughed delightedly, "Remus pulled. Me and James were thin air to them when this stud was around...but it gets better. Remus decided he was feeling a little more...feisty than that. He took this gorgeous lady outside to speak to her on her own. When he didn't return to us we began to get fairly anxious; we ought to go look after him...he needed no such help," Remus moaned,

"Come on Sirius, its really not that interes-"

"Shush! You're ruining it. Anyway, we went outside and immediately we started giggling. Two people were being so loud and excitable down this alleyway we could barely hear ourselves shouting Remus name, that is until, some girl screamed it back to us..."  
Lily gasped and rounded on Remus, "You had sex with a girl down an alley?? Remus!!"

The three of them laughed whilst Lily stared shocked at Remus,

"Unbelievable isn't it. A boy so young...so innoce- Ouch!" Remus had flung the book in his face.

"Aaw, now that is out of order – its a good story!! We couldn't believe he was actually doing it – we turned before thinking and had to run back inside the pub - he had her up against the wall!! You should have seen how aggressively he was thrusti- hey!!"

Remus had kicked him painfully. Sirius simply started laughing with the others.

Lily turned suddenly to James,

"Oh! I was meant to tell you! Slughorn wants to see us both in his office right away."

James rolled his eyes, "All right. Lets go."

The two of them got up to leave, still smiling whilst Remus glowered in his chair. Sirius watched them go,

"Do you think she still supposedly hates him? She's been nice to him this week."

Remus shrugged grumpily.

* * *

The door slammed shut noisily and they tumbled in against some chairs. They barely noticed. James had glanced to check it was empty and that was it. Once he'd pulled her inside, he pushed her back up against the door, running his hands over every bit of her he could reach. She had a truly magnificent figure.

Kissing Lily was like kissing no-one else. It was so intense, and so passionate, there was such a yearning behind it...he'd quite frankly never been more turned on in his entire life. He had been telling her about this when she had suddenly decided she was bored with talking. Before he knew it, she had her fingers tangled in his hair and her lips moving earnestly against his, moving him unsteadily towards the nearest door.

These moments he had with her, (they referred to them in company as simply their head boy and girl responsibilities), seemed to be getting noticeably more risky every time. The always took it just that little bit further.

Today seemed to different all together. It was going very far...very fast.

She had shoved his cloak to the floor, had whipped off his tie, and he had long since removed her shirt...he couldn't quite comprehend how he was suddenly holding Lily practically half naked... the thought encouraged him to move even faster if that was possible. Gasping and pressing against each other, James let his lips trace along her jaw and softly to her neck, pressing her delicate hands up against the door as he did...she moaned...almost too quietly too hear...but he wanted desperately to hear more sounds like it...

"Lily?" he whispered hotly against her ear.

She breathed back some form of an answer whilst he kissed his way around her,

"Lily, I want to..." he kissed her mouth quickly, not sure how to say it. Most verbal forms of it sounded so...tacky... and if he'd imagined it, he'd always imagined just getting on with it...but what if she wasn't ready for him to do that. In the end he decided to... indicate to her...

"I want to..." he mumbled right in her ear, and as he did, slid his hand tentatively to the edge of her skirt, lingering slightly. When he did, her arms, currently wrapped around his neck, went very still...her whole body seemed to freeze...cautiously he moved his head back just enough to see her. She was looking right at him, her bright green eyes searching his. Almost inaudibly, she said, "I...had a dream about that...it was...with you..."

For a long moment they stood wrapped around each other against the door, simply looking at each other, James trying to get his head around the fact that Lily Evans had ever dreamt about him in that way.

He took it as permission.

James Potter watched in fascination as Lily trembled...as she gasped...as she bit her lip. He watched when before long her eyes actually closed, and her hands tightened almost painfully around him, pulling him right up against her...she seemed to be somehow both pressing herself against the door, away from him, and yet always moving her body slightly towards him...helplessly...He began to kiss her neck, move his free hand softly over anywhere he could reach. He took off her bra, and she barely seemed to notice while he marvelled at her chest... moving his hand over everything...she trembled again, her mouth open slightly, the faintest of sounds escaping...getting slightly louder... he traced his lips over her, and finding her breast he gave the slightest of licks with the tip of his tongue... Lily actually moaned.

Kissing her, doing this to her, he didn't at first notice when one of her hands moved slowly down his chest so close to hers. He gulped slightly as he realised what she was doing, and couldn't help the small intake of breath as she encircled her hand carefully around him. At first she was a little unsteady, but, faster than he was actually prepared for, she got it... and he couldn't really think of much else...neither of them really could. He rested his cheek against hers, listening to her gasp, breathing unevenly, thrilled at being able to make anything like this happen... with Lily...

* * *

They each stood, rearranging, putting back on any clothes they had managed to remove. Pulling his cloak on, James turned to look at Lily a few paces away. For a long moment, they said nothing, and simply looked. James looked away again,

"um...sorry again about...getting it on you." He half laughed a little awkwardly,

She smiled with a shrug, looking at the floor, "no...it's fine. Easy-easily gotten... rid of." She flicked her wand a little to demonstrate. James nodded, looking up at her. Her face was still very flushed, and she was biting her lip a little, because she was nervous now he thought, but it still caused his mind to stray a little as the events of just moments ago replayed in his head...not that they had ever left his head.

Feeling pleased, at least, about the part she had played he felt himself start to grin rather cheekily at her. Lily saw this and, going a little more red, she reluctantly grinned back and giggled, still biting her lip.

"Well," said James, still grinning a little foolishly, (he was feeling quite giddy), "I didn't expect that to happen... a week into our relationship..."

A hesitant giggle escaped out of her again and she shook her head, looking just as bemused as he felt, "No...that...that was unexpected. I'm...I'm glad it did though." She looked up at him warily, "Are you?"

He laughed, "erm...just a little bit, yea..." And she laughed with him, seeming more at ease. And James felt himself relaxing as she did. He was comfortable enough to move towards her again. She stepped forward as well, putting her hands in his outstretched ones.

He smiled at her, "You always look really lovely...when you blush and things."

She blushed again, (proving his point) and said, her smile slightly playful, "You ain't so bad yourself, Potter."

He grinned, "Well Cheers. Glad you think so."

She looked down again, a little nervous once more. She seemed to be steeling herself to say something.

"What?"

Very quietly, Lily said, "Well...um, I've never...never done that sort of thing before. I um... I heard you had. So I was just wondering if that was ok..."

He removed one hand from hers to move her chin up so she was looking at him. "You were perfect."

She smiled softly.

"And," he continued reluctantly, "That's not true. I haven't either, really."

She raised her eyebrows, "Really?"

James chuckled darkly, "This girl practically assaulted me. It was nothing enjoyable, trust me." He swallowed a little, "not like this."

Lily smiled again, and nodded.

"I'm-I'm hoping, we can do this again some time."

He grinned broadly – it was so easy to smile around Lily, "Oh, I'm sure you'll be able to persuade me." She rolled her eyes, blushing, (again) her smile growing wider.

"And," she continued, her voice shaking a little, "Eventually...we can...we can go all the way...?"

He stared at her for a little while...that was perhaps one of the best sentences she'd ever uttered.

He couldn't quite voice the answer, so he just nodded earnestly, to which she nodded and said, "Because, I want to. With you, anyway."

After a while, when he could think of something other than what she was suggesting, James said, "Me too." He smiled at her, "You're actually quite sweet, Evans."

Lily rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Potter." They laughed a little, James feeling strangely but happily connected to her somehow. He leaned towards her and they kissed, warmly rather than lustfully this time. It had been one of those moments – it wasn't perfect, or overly romantic, but it meant so much, that you remembered and treasured it word for word.

* * *

Today was the day. Lily and James had both said they ought to tell people; their friends would get angry if they had to find out about it from someone else who'd seen the two of them by accident. Lily sat nervously waiting for her friends in the common room. She was worried about convincing them. Rather guiltily, she contemplated how completely closed off she had been about James. They knew nothing of what had gone on in her head at all over the past year. The original frustration and confusion to the eventual realisation, to the feelings of complete bliss she was feeling now... They knew nothing, either, of days she's spent with him, times she'd realised how alike they were, bits and pieces that would mean she wouldn't have to be explaining this to them now – they would have seen it coming long before even she had...

She squirmed guiltily again when she thought of how she had been a bad friend this year. The fact she was a decent friend was one of the things she'd prided herself on since childhood. She loved her friends. Lily was always attentive and loyal, always there for people, reliable and kind for them... she'd been very few of those things this year. All because of James... it was slowly dawning on her how much he had affected her this year. She liked him so very much... her mind strayed back to yesterday, when they had been in that classroom together. She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. It wasn't so much what had happened that took her by surprise, more her eventual reaction to it... that had been somewhere in the region of mind blowing. Every time she thought about it she so badly wanted to see him and have him... luckily it wasn't just she who had made all the noise (she blushed thinking about how she had actually cried out...) she also remembered, with a growing yearning, the groan that had escaped his lips, so close to her ear -

"Hey Lily, how's it going?"

Lily jumped and watched as her two friends smiled at her and seated themselves. This week had been a good week for the three of them. Although James had been a distraction throughout it, he wasn't the nagging worry in her mind that he had been before, he had become a catalyst for her happiness and as a result she had been much better company. Like herself, really. Strangely, so had Alice. Every time she seemed not to notice James at all, Lily let herself feel hopeful over how she in particular would react when told.

"Good, thank you. I managed to finish Slughorns essay this morning, so I'm feeling pretty successful actually."

Lauren grinned, "Me too. Bitch of an essay to write though, wasn't it?"

Both Lily and Alice agreed fervently and they discussed it for a little while, Lily wondering vaguely how she should proceed... but they moved on to talking about light-hearted and generally funny things and she could find nowhere to squeeze the information in, plus she was enjoying her time with her friends. As it slipped nearer dinner time though, she realised she would simply have to...what if James had told the marauders already? They would be loud about it...very loud...

"Um...I have something to tell you both..." Both Alice and Lauren looked at each other for a moment and then turned to look back at Lily,

"Go on." said Alice politely. Frowning at this exchange, Lily hesitated.

"Well...um...I'm just going to go ahead and say it then. I'm...I'm going out with James Potter."

For a moment neither Alice nor Lauren said anything, then they both grinned and started laughing. Lily frowned again...this wasn't a reaction she'd predicted...

Alice shook her head at Lily, almost pitying her, "Lily, we know."

Lily stared at them both. She began to splutter, "B-but how??! When did- who told-"

Lauren interjected, "We've not known it was that official. We were hoping it would become so, but we guessed this was kind of where you were headed. A while back you started acting so strange around him, and strange in general, and honestly did you think it would escape our notice? And we knew James was still hooked on you, it was only a matter of time. And this week especially, you've been so...happy," Lauren smiled at her broadly, "We knew something had happened... James had come down to breakfast on Monday looking ecstatic...more arrogant than I remember seeing him in a long while. There's only one thing that could have made him so pleased with himself...the only thing that's been keeping him humble these past seven years...you rejecting him." Both Alice and Lauren giggled.

Alice turned to Lauren, "D'you remember me saying ages ago, last year or something, that one day she would so give in to him! I was so right!" They laughed together. All Lily could do was gape at her best friends. And then she frowned at Alice,

"But...But I thought you liked him, Alice?"

Alice looked a little guilty while Lauren smirked at her,

"Alice has something she'd like to confess to you, Lily."

Lily looked closely at her friend, who squirmed a little, but otherwise she started to grin again,

"Well, I'll admit, I did think I liked James. But, to be honest, I'd just lost my Dad, I would've liked anyone I think as long as it gave me some form of comfort... I mean, don't get me wrong, I think James is a great person, but he's so much more suited to you, in more ways than even you're aware I think. Me and him would never have worked..." Alice started looking a little more guilty, "Well...since me and Lauren had worked it out about you and James, well, sorry, but we were a little annoyed you weren't telling us anything about it. We are your best friends..."

Lily looked down, "Yeah...I am really sorry about that...I don't know why I did..."

Alice waved away her apology, "It doesn't matter at all. We get it – it's the sort of thing you'd feel awkward and embarrassed about. Specially 'cos it's James...how long have you been saying you hate him? Anyways, because of that, when Lauren found out something in particular about me, we decided we wouldn't let you know until you finally told us about you."

"Let me know what?"

"I'm going out with Frank!"

Lily blinked...now that, she had not seen coming. Alice was practically beaming and Lauren was smiling fondly at her.

"It's so great! I mean he gets me so well, you know. And he's been so lovely to me..."

Lauren nodded, "They're really good together."

Lily felt an odd twinge of regret as she imagined Lauren and Alice and Frank all hanging about together, getting to know each other... she really should have just told them about James...

"But now you have to meet him! I mean, I know you already have, but you must meet him as my boyfriend! Although, keep it quiet because he really shouldn't be here getting it on with the students...he's supposed to be doing his job all the time..."

They had an hour or so before dinner. Lily told them everything she could dig up, even about running into the Death Eaters (they were quite pissed off about her not telling them that one), and she listened intently to the information she got in return. She couldn't believe how much she had missed by just holding back things from her friends. Lauren even told them about this boy from Ravenclaw she'd been talking to as well... But Lily felt an odd freedom in finally being able to say anything she wanted to her friends, and a relief at being able to share how happy she was with her two best friends. Knowing they were just as happy only increased her joy.

At dinner the three of them were sat down, chattering alongside everyone else, when the marauders entered the room. Lily looked at James significantly and he shook his head – he hadn't told them yet. Lily shook her head disapprovingly back and indicated she'd told her friends. James grinned at her and when his friends weren't looking he waved cheerfully at both Alice and Lauren, who smiled and waved back. Lily wondered why he hadn't told his own friends yet...


	13. Chapter 13

_This is it then, _James thought, reaching for the boiled potatoes, _Lauren and Alice know. Lily will be seriously pissed off if you don't tell them soon. Besides, I want them to know! I want the whole school to know! I want to rub it in every single boys face that I have Lily Fucking Evans and they, amateurs that they are, do not! Muaha! _

Except, James was wary that Sirius might be pissed off that he had not told him about this the second it happened. Lily was right when she said he would also be loud about it. Except, would he? Perhaps he would just laugh it off. In fact, even if Sirius was loud about it, would that really be so terrible? He did kind of want people, (everyone alive or dead in the world) to know...

It was there, as James was passing the potatoes to Remus, that he decided he couldn't hold it back any longer,

"So, I thought I should let you all know, I'm going out with Lily now."

Sirius froze. Remus and Peter looked up in alarm,

"You're going out with Lily Evans?" cried Peter in alarm, making several people nearby swivel round intrigued.

Remus started frowning suspiciously as though James was playing a practical joke, but James' eyes were on Sirius who had not so much as moved an eyebrow. Finally he put down his fork and turned to face James.

"Are you being serious?"

James felt a little nervous; there wasn't much emotion in Sirius voice

"Well yes."

"This isn't a really lame joke."

"No, definitely going out with her now."

"Since when?"

"Uh... only like a week."

"Had sex yet?"

"What? Well, no... not yet..."

"So you think you're going to?"

"Well, yeah, I mean eventually, she said something about -"

"It's pretty serious then? You're in love with this woman?"

"Err... Well, I'd rather say that to her if you don't-"

"What are you intentions?"

"Aaw, seriously Padfoot? I dunno – honourable? What are-"

"Have you been on a date with this woman?"

"Something like one, I mean we had a meal- Stop calling her 'this woman'!"

Sirius looked at James for a moment and suddenly grinned.

"Well, thought it would happen eventually. You were always too charming for your own good prongs."

James grinned, a laugh escaping in relief.

"So you're actually going out with her now then?" Remus interjected, looking surprised

James nodded,

"How come you haven't told us?"

James shrugged, "I dunno – happened really quickly. Only been going out a week or so – you haven't missed much."

Peter looked at James in awe, "So, you've been on a date and everything with her then."

James nodded, feeling ever so slightly smug. Sirius and Remus sniggered. Maybe his smugness was too obvious...

"I don't get it though, when did this happen? Like how..." Sirius asked.

James tried to keep from grinning too much, "well, I dunno – we sort of went on this date by accident last week. She was going to Hogsmeade and Lauren said she didn't want her to go alone. I took her – ended up spending the day together... it was a good day" he finished, shrugging modestly.

"You got off with her then?"

James shrugged again, trying with all his might not to giggle hysterically in his joy, "Um, yeah, right as we were walking back up to school."

Sirius barked a laugh and clapped him on the back, "Fucking hell... well done Prongs" James grinned.

Remus was looking curious, "So, do Lauren and Alice actually know then? Or has she not admitted it to them?"

"I'll have you know, she told them today – same as me."

Sirius laughed again, "Yeah, only because she knew they'd find out the second we did."

"Fuck off. And you've been alright so far, to be fair."

"God," gasped Sirius, looking concerned, "I have as well." He swivelled round in his chair rather suddenly.

_Oh no..._

"Evans! Hey EVANS!"

Lily was sat all the way down at the other end of the table, but she couldn't really avoid hearing as for a second time Sirius bellowed her name across the hall. Slowly, the whole Gryffindor table, and many from the tables either side, turned towards the source of the noise,

"So you're actually going out with Potter? THIS BOY RIIIIGHT HERE! THAT IM POINTING AT NOW? You're going out with it? JAMES POTTER?"

James had never seen her face such a brilliant red. Mutely, looking thoroughly annoyed, she nodded. James couldn't help but feel a little relieved that she had under such traumatic circumstances. Several boys were now wolf whistling down the table whilst girls all around her and turned to confirm the news. Sirius sat down triumphantly as several people started calling down the table to her,

"Finally gave in, did you Evans?"

"Can't believe you're going out with speckles over there!"

"Slip you a love potion, did he Evans?"

James punched Sirius in the arm, although privately feeling rather pleased.

Sirius just giggled childishly. Remus shook his head looking amused, "She will kill you for that later Padfoot."

"Nah, she won't. I wondered, actually, why she'd been more nice to me lately. Now I know. Trying to get in my good books! Trying to get my approval! Not likely, I tell you that."

Peter looked confused, "But what about getting in her good books? She's going to be around all the time now."

Sirius waved away this objection, "Pfft, only as long as James keeps her. Won't be that long, will it?"

James just smiled and shrugged, feeling a truthful response would sound rather ridiculous. But he couldn't honestly foresee a time when he would not want her... He looked down the table at her. She was coolly raising an eyebrow at some boys remark, her hair shining in the candle light, her face as pretty as it had ever been. He waited until she saw him looking and then smiled in what he hoped was an apologetic smile. She rolled her eyes, looking amused, pointed at Sirius and mimed beating him to death with her broccoli. James smirked at her and thought how it would be to spend forever with Lily... _Good, _he concluded, _it would be really good... _


	14. Epilogue: Two years later

Lily had her eyes closed. It was a gorgeous day. Spring time had brought a pleasant warm breeze. Feeling the sun on her face she smiled slightly. Her husbands breathing behind her was quite deep; maybe he had fallen asleep? It wouldn't surprise her. He had been exhausted these past months. Lily felt slight irritation that she could not help anymore. As the months had past she had been allowed to do less and less for the Order, despite the worryingly bad situation they were all now in. As of last week they felt it would be best that she stay out of it all together.

It did not bother her too much though, given her circumstances. She let out a sigh as she looked around the little garden she and James owned. Sat against the large tree in the far corner, she and James had decided to take this day and enjoy the sunshine. They had had so much rare moments like this recently...

Lily placed a hand delicately on her stomach, unable to suppress her smile or the wave of excitement that followed. She could not wait to meet this baby. Only two months to go now... they had estimated it would be born at the start of August.

Laid back against James, his legs sprawling out either side of her, his arms around her, she felt oddly safe, even with all the chaos surrounding them.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

Not asleep then at least.

"I've thought of another name for the baby..."

"You have?" she could hear the great amusement in his voice, "Go on then. Give it to me. What's the latest suggestion?"

Ignoring his patronising tone, she announced it. "Harry." she said simply.

"Harry?"

"You sound surprised."

He laughed, "Well...yeah... after things like 'Ogdel' and 'Gobnait' and your apparent fondness of the name Elvendork I'd have to say I'm quite impressed."

She sighed, feeling annoyed, "Just because you have the most boring name in the world, doesn't mean everyone else should as well."

James sniggered, "Yeah, but I myself am fascinating, I make up for it with an endless supply of charisma."

Rolling her eyes, Lily answered back, "James Potter, the second I think you're actually becoming nice you say something like that and I'm assured you're still as arrogant as ever."

"As long as you're still assured, then."

Lily ignored that, "Well? What do you think of Harry?"

"Uh... yeah its OK..."

Lily frowned, "What's wrong with it?"

"I dunno – sounds like 'hairy' really."

"It does not!"

James laughed, "Fine, it's OK. Definitely a maybe." There was a small pause and Lily waited for the inevitable question. "So what does 'Harry' mean then?" James asked.

Lily giggled. He had such an obsession with knowing all the meanings. She thought this would be where she could win him over with 'Harry', a name she'd fallen a little in love with for reasons she couldn't explain.

"Actually, Harry means 'king'"

He went silent a moment. "That's it. We are absolutely, definitely naming our son Harry."

Lily laughed, "James, for the last time – you don't know its going to be a boy!"

"It blatantly is!"

"This is stupid – if it's a girl you're going to get really disappointed!"

"No I wouldn't!" he insisted, sounding offended, "I would love her a ridiculous amount. It's just... I can't explain it. I just really think it's a boy. A boy we are also definitely calling Harry. Amazing choice Lils."

"Right – if it's a boy we'll name it Harry, for sure. If Harry's a girl though-"

"Harry's a boy!"

She sighed and let it drop. They had had this discussion too often already.

"Harry is a nice name though," she said quietly, softly rubbing her stomach, "I wonder what he'll look like..."  
James chuckled, "'He' ey?"

"Or she." Lily quickly added.

"If he...or she... looks anything like you – they'll be beautiful."

"What do you think they'll be?"

"World famous quidditch player." James said confidently, without the faintest trace of irony. Lily scoffed, "Do they have a choice in that, Potter?"

"Well... either that or Minister for Magic."

Lily laughed, "Maybe they'll defeat Voldemort for us."

"Oh god... I hope it doesn't take that long."

"Do you think we'll have more than just this one?"

"Definitely more. Growing up on your own's ridiculously boring."

Lily smiled, "How many do you want then?"

"I dunno – five or six?"

She laughed at that, "If you want to push them out of you instead then be my guest."

"You don't want too many then?"

"Um... maybe like three?"

"Three it is," said James, sounding satisfied.

His hand moved to rest gently on top of her stomach.

"Harry Potter..." he muttered, "It sounds good..."

Lily snuggled into James a little more. The world might be falling apart around them, but she had James, and of course, she had her little baby. She placed her hand on top of James's and smiled.

* * *

Thanks to people who reviewed! Am majorly unsure about the ending of this one, but kinda thought id written myself into a bit of brick wall - hope the attempt was enjoyable anyways! x


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